• About
  • Contact
  • LIFESTYLE
  • BUSINESS
  • SPORTS
  • ENTERTAINMENT
  • POLITICS
  • TECH
NEWS
Image of toaster appears on Virgin Mary painting
Entertainment

FAIRFIELD, OH - Parishioners packed the Fairfield Church of Nazarene this week as word of the toaster apparition spread throughout the community. The phenomenon continues to prompt waves of intense emotion as people try to comprehend the heavenly message. Throughout viewing hours set up by the church, people can be seen weeping, fainting, and praying.

The miracle toaster appears embedded and glowing within the painting of the Virgin Mary hanging at the front of the church. Many feel the apparition is somehow intended to convey the opposite message of many heavily publicized sightings the Virgin Mary on pieces of toast around the U.S. in recent years.

Church officials report the toaster appears to be a KitchenAid KMTT200OB which is a medium quality four-slice toaster that comes with a one year warranty. The unit generally retails for $69.99.

Church Pastor, Paul Edwards commented, "Although we don't yet understand the meaning of this phenomenon, we do understand the Lord works in mysterious ways. Possibly this is meant to benefit our parish financially. We are considering offering the painting on eBay."

RELATED STORIES
  • More news coming soon!

  • DUPLICATE: MAYBE DELETE. SantaCon interrupts Detroit looting activity

  • Norwood Fashion Week features latest trends in jean shorts

Entertainment
Comments:
Try our weekly(ish) newsletter
Recent
NEWS
Florence Mall Santa disfigured in meth lab explosion
Derf
Mouse with human ear grafted to body seeks second opinion
Derf
Boy finally informs parents he is adopted
Derf
stuff Goes Here 2
stuff Goes Here 3

2003 - 2021
DERF MAGAZINE, LLC.
All Rights Reserved.
ABOUT

About

Contact

NEWS ESSENTIALS

Lifestyle

Entertainment

Sports

Business

Politics
All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. Please read our disclaimer.