BP CEO: Hey people, if I had an off switch for the oil gusher I would schedule time to personally turn it off right now!

Everyone wants an easy answer to this problem.  If I had a nickel for every time someone said, “We want this problem solved now!”, I’d be richer than I already am.

Although I can’t solve the problem right now, I want everyone to know how committed I am to solving it as fast as possible.  To illustrate my commitment I’d like everyone to picture an on/off switch to the gusher.  The switch could be located in the BP corporate headquarter lobby or maybe even conveniently somewhere on the beach near the gusher.  It could be anywhere but let’s say hypothetically the switch is located in a BP station on the side of a highway somewhere.  Maybe on I-65 outside Gulfport, Mississippi.  We have a couple stations around there so it makes sense. 

Once my team informs me that is where the switch is located, you know what I would do?  I would take immediate and decisive action by asking my assistant to make an opening in my schedule in the next few days so I could make a trip to Gulfport from our command center here outside New Orleans.  Then I would wrap up other details here while getting ready for the trip. 

I would have a driver take me to Gulfport so I could focus on conference calls with my executive team during the trip.  On the way I would visit one of my Aunts who moved to the U.S. when I was a boy.  BP is a family oriented company so I don’t think anyone would mind if I took a little family time along the way.  

After arriving at the BP station, I would first meet all of the station employees and thank them for letting us know where the switch is.  I would also tell them their services were invaluable but due to recent financial hardships there will be significant downsizing especially among station personnel and other non-executive positions.     

Then in front of the media cameras, I would somewhat ceremoniously go over to the switch and turn it off.  Then I would call CNN and ask if it worked.  Hopefully Anderson Cooper wouldn’t be the one to answer the phone because according to that guy I can’t do anything right.  He would find some way to be critical of this historic moment. 

Lastly, I would ask the station employees to place a piece of tape over the switch to make sure this tragedy never happens again. 

I think this hypothetical exercise has demonstrated my commitment to solving this problem.  If you have any other hypothetical scenarios you feel will add value to the discussion, please forward them the BP Public Relations department.