BP CEO: If the glistening hull of my yacht was contaminated with oil, I would be even more devastated than the Gulf fishermen.

Last year I received a well deserved $22 million performance bonus from BP.  I gave almost $5,000 to a children’s lacrosse charity and used the rest to buy a wonderful 110ft yacht.  She’s my pride and joy.  I named her Sea Bird.  I’ve sailed all around the world on Sea Bird and I feel an indescribably powerful bond with her.

If anything were to ever happen to Sea Bird, I don’t know what I would do.  I’ve often wondered how I would feel if Sea Bird and I accidentally sailed through a patch of spilled oil.  Her hull would likely be so contaminated that my yacht staff would have to spend weeks scrubbing her with Dawn Dishwashing liquid.  This would be devastating to me.  I would have to face the difficult decision of whether to replace the factory wax coating on Sea Bird’s hull, or even worse, sell her and buy a new yacht altogether. 

I mention this terrible hypothetical tragedy because I want the Gulf fishermen to know that I empathize with them.  They have suffered a terrible loss just as I would if I ever sailed my lovely Sea Bird through an oil spill.  I believe their emotions and my imagined emotions are virtually identical. 

So I say to all of the Gulf fishermen, restaurant workers, and business owners affected by this tragedy:  Like all of you who have lost something vital due to this tragedy, I too have a cherished possession that I would be devastated to lose.  I want you to know if I did suffer this loss, we would all be huddled together in a pub having a pint and crying on each other’s shoulders while my yacht was being cleaned.  When the cleaning was complete I would invite all of you aboard Sea Bird for a wonderful day cruise. The delicious catered shrimp flown in from the Atlantic would be on me of course!