Is honesty always the best policy?
by Katie Michaels, DERF Lifestyle Columnist
Well, if you're under oath, sure. But if you just have this overwhelming desire to spill your guts about everything "bad" you've ever done, tell your therapist, your priest, your dog - NOT your boyfriend! The first three won't leave you, your boyfriend might. And whatever you do, don't write it in your diary!
Take this phrase to heart; learn it, and live it - "sometimes it's better to let sleeping dogs lie" (a very wise man once told me that). Some things really are better left unsaid. What's the point in bringing up the past? You can't change it; it's over and done with. So, why put unpleasant and unnecessary images in your guy's head? He doesn't need to know how many guys you slept with before him. He doesn't need to know about "that one night in college." You're just asking for trouble. Inevitably, one night, you're going to get into an argument, and he's going to use his new-found-ammunition against you. Do you really think he's shared all of his deep, dark secrets with you? Come on, wise up.
Now, before you get all judgmental on me, there is another side to being honest. As much as I don't think you should bare your soul, pre-boyfriend, I absolutely believe you should be 100% honest with him now, in your present relationship, and in the future, as your relationship grows. There's no reason to not be honest. If you're really in love and committed to each other, and you truly value the relationship, you absolutely have no reason to ever lie. I know this is kind of getting into another subject (which, of course, I will be writing about at another time), but in addition to not lying, there is, under no circumstances, EVER a reason to cheat. If you're going to cheat, break-up first. Don't be a coward. Cheating is the easy way out.
Anyway, back to the honesty policy - bottom line is this - don't bare your soul about things that just don't need to be shared. If it isn't going to help your relationship, it doesn't need to be discussed. Quite frankly, I don't want the image in my head of my boyfriend at Bob's bachelor party, with the strippers. As long as he's not cheating, then I don't need or want to know about it.
I know that in the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship, we feel all warm and fuzzy, and we just feel this crazy, insane need to tell them everything. Don't do it, girls! He's not doing it for you, no matter what he says. I guarantee it.
So, send me your thoughts.