My taste is so sophisticated I hate everything

By Slade Dandridge, DERF Editorial Blogger

I don't think I am bragging when I say I have very sophisticated taste in all areas of life.  Many people have pointed out that my taste is impeccable.  Although I am proud to be so tasteful, there is one major disadvantage.  Being so tasteful makes me hate almost everything.  I am generally miserable because no matter where I go I feel I am surrounded by miserable tastelessness. 

Everywhere I turn I see tasteless mediocrity.  I hate all bands.  I hate all music.  I detest everyone's clothes.  If I saw your home I would probably consider it laughable.  Other people's food, pets, and artwork all make me gag.  Everything I have is far superior to everything everyone else has. 

But sadly my taste is so sophisticated that I hate all of my own stuff too.  My stuff is simply not good enough for me.  I hate virtually everything I own.  My wine collection is superior but not good enough to satisfy my exquisite palette.  My music collection soars above everyone else's but it pales compared to the music I should have.  Oil Sheiks and CEOs would kill to have a car like mine but to me it's an embarrassing bucket of bolts not worthy of my greatness. 

I even hate highly sophisticated and tasteful people because they are generally arrogant and condescending....and not in a good way like me. 

This is a state of torture I live in.  I alone carry this burden of greatness.  My burden isolates me from the world.  I have tried to fit in with the little guy by ratcheting down my standards but it is pointless.  I hate everything and I hate that I hate everything. 

My feelings about this blog?  This is one thing that is hard to hate because it is so superior to any other blog.  However, I could do so much better.  It really is not worthy of my greatness.  Even though I have many fans that hang on every word, my talents are not being fully utilized. 

I hate even my own taste.  If there is a saving grace, perhaps it is that hating one's own taste is the true measure of being truly sophisticated.  I shall take comfort in that.