Derf FAQ's

We hope you appreciate our efforts to ensure these FAQ's meet the unique needs of the English speaking market.

Q:  Is DERF a leader in innovation?
A:  Yes recently we switched to the metric system.  That's a sign of a really good company.

Q:  Is Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield one of the most culturally significant songs in the history of music?A:  Yes, The lyrics will be posted here shortly.

Q:  Does DERF have a spiritual leader?
A:  Yes, Kristi Yamaguchi.

Q:  What is the education level of most DERF employees?
A:  All DERF emoployees were home-schooled.

Q:  Does DERF care about any environmental issues?
A:  We are active in the fight against global beer warming caused by damage to the beer-zone layer.

Q:  Does DERF have self-lubricating technology?
A:  Not to brag but yes.  Also, DERF is infused with gentle exfoliating micro-beads.

Q:  Can DERF predict the weather?
A:  No, who would try to compete with Derk Beasely, Channel 5 Meteorologist?

Q:  Does DERF engage in human trafficking?
A:  We ceased all human trafficking operations in 2007 after the lease on our PODS container expired.

Q:  Does DERF give back to the community?
A:  Yes, we regularly donate pieces of our carbon footprint to people with undersized carbon footprints.

Q:  Does DERF publish news from the future?
A:  If we do, we'll let you know in advance.

Q:  Where is DERF Headquarters?
A:  Currently we operate quite comfortably in the employee breakroom of the Westchester IKEA store. 

Q:  Why are DERF parties so much fun?
A:  DERF parties rock beyond how things normally rock. 

Thank you for helping DERF win the battle against journalistic integrity.  Feel free to stop by and pick up a sample of our new visco-elastic memory cells!