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Tuesday, April 22nd - 11:00 AM-11:00 PM

Taco Tuesdays @ Mt. Lookout Tavern (MLT's)

DERF Happy Hour

Friday, Apr 25 - 5:30PM-9:30PM

The Oak Tavern, $10 for 10 Beers -OR- 7 Cocktails!
lame horoscopes

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Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.


Wednesday, April 16th

Aries
You will be visited in your dreams by a mythical lion who will tell you the secret to eternal happiness. You will then be visited while awake by a real lion who will maul and eat you.
Aries
Taurus
You finally have a reason to celebrate. All of the restraining orders filed against you expired this week! Treat yourself to something nice. Then get started on screening some fresh new stalking victims.
Taurus
Gemini
There is reason to believe that your economic situation will be improving. But you must be willing to embrace prostitution as a temporary means to an end.
Gemini
Cancer
How long are you going to let that hair grow out of the mole on your neck? Either clip it, or braid it before someone else does.
Cancer
Leo
Your computer is afflicted with a virus that puts a smiley face at the bottom of every email you send out. People find it extremely annoying.
Leo
Virgo
This month you will unknowingly repulse a Leo and Capricorn so severely they will vomit. Their vomiting will in turn make a Gemini and Sagittarius vomit. This cycle will continue until most people in your community will be hospitalized with severe dehydration.
Virgo
Libra
If the lawn gnomes in your neighborhood ever decide to rise up and attack humans, you are first on their list. Double lock your windows and make sure to block the doggie door.
Libra
Scorpio
The good news is someone is going to buy you a gift you will really need. The bad news is it is a book entitled, 50 Things to do While Under House Arrest.
Scorpio
Sagittarius
The cookie sample you are going to eat at the grocery store was just slapped out of the hand of a wheezing nine year old. Eat it at your own risk, but you might want to make sure that you are up to date on all of your shots.
Sagittarius
Capricorn
You're going to make a huge impression this week. Your butt is going to make a sweaty, deep, permanent impression on your couch cushion.
Capricorn
Aquarius
It's time to take care of something that has been weighing on your mind. Clean the blood out of your trunk and use bleach this time.
Aquarius
Pisces
The stars are about to align perfectly for your luck to be at its peak. It will occur for a half hour time frame, but you will be too busy watching a Saved By The Bell rerun to notice.
Pisces


Previous Weeks:

Thursday, April 10th
Wednesday, April 9th
Tuesday, April 8th

Events
Parties, concerts, nightlife, benefits, art, wine, sports, theater, and more.
image Wednesday Apr 16
Pre-Launch Event
image Wednesday Apr 16
Gramatik
image Friday Apr 25
Final Fridays
More Events»