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Tuesday, April 29th - 11:00 AM-11:00 PM

Taco Tuesdays @ Mt. Lookout Tavern (MLT's)

DERF Happy Hour

Friday, Apr 25 - 5:30PM-9:30PM

The Oak Tavern, $10 for 10 Beers -OR- 7 Cocktails!
lame horoscopes

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Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.


Wednesday, April 23rd

Aries
There was a time in your elementary school days where you were considered extremely attractive. It began on a Monday afternoon and ended the following Tuesday. Hopefully, you enjoyed it, because it will never happen again.
Aries
Taurus
You'll be getting some extra sleep this week. The bad news is it is going to happen while you are driving.
Taurus
Gemini
Keep in mind that often silence is the best course of action. Especially when you are about to call and order a second pizza.
Gemini
Cancer
Your dog is shedding at about three times the normal rate. This is a sign for you to collect all of the hair and make a pretend dog. Then save a lot of money by giving your real dog to a better family.
Cancer
Leo
Blacktopping driveways will be a big part of your next career move. It won't be how you'll make your money, it will be something your boss will force you to do as a means of harassment.
Leo
Virgo
The reason you can't find anything to wear in your closet is because you never buy the right clothes. Start looking for more burlap and calico mixes.
Virgo
Libra
You need to get in touch with your natural instincts, and learn to start ignoring them. They've only gotten you into trouble so far.
Libra
Scorpio
Someone in Canada is thinking about you right now. Actually, they are looking at pictures of you that your ex just posted on the internet. Nice thong.
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Have you been cutting yourself to avoid dealing with the realities of the economic down turn? That's hilarious. Stay in touch....we'd love to know what other freakish coping mechanisms you come up with.
Sagittarius
Capricorn
They just found your Dad's Members Only jacket in the Cincinnati time capsule. Oh wait that's yours? Ouch.
Capricorn
Aquarius
There is an evil force in your home. Or maybe it is just expired cream cheese. Either way, be careful while eating your bagel.
Aquarius
Pisces
That puppy you think you bonded with yesterday at the rescue shelter is praying you don't come back to adopt him. Don't take it personally but he just didn't feel the same way about you as you did about him.
Pisces


Previous Weeks:

Thursday, April 17th
Wednesday, April 16th
Thursday, April 10th

Events
Parties, concerts, nightlife, benefits, art, wine, sports, theater, and more.
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Final Fridays
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DERF Happy Hour
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Ben Peterson Band
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