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Sunday, August 24th - 5:00 PM-7:30 PM

Luke Bryan Pre-Party Presented by Miller Lite @ The Sandbar

DERF Happy Hour

Friday, Sep 12 - 5:30PM-9:00PM

Mt. Lookout Tavern (MLT's), $10 for 10 Beers -OR- 7 Cocktails!
lame horoscopes

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Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.


Tuesday, January 29th

Aries
A clean living space will clear your mind. Ask your roommate at the Talbot House to join you in tidying up your bunks today.
Aries
Aries
A surprise visitor is going to greet you with wonderful news. However, the visitor is going to surprise you to the point that you'll pass out and not hear what they have to say.
Aries
Taurus
Take some time to find out more about yourself this week. Use the freedom of information act to request your FBI file.
Taurus
Cancer
Don't try to fill your idle time with any useful pursuits. Being idle is your strong suit.
Cancer
Cancer
Stay away from Disney World. The guy in the Mickey Mouse suit has a rare disorder that can only be triggered by your pheromones. One whiff of you will cause him to be covered with boils so large they pop through his costume.
Cancer
Cancer
A bump on the head causes a loss of memory, but another bump brings it back, You have no recollection of either incident.
Cancer
Leo
You are becoming overwhelmed by guilt. Father, turn yourself in to the Archdiocese.
Leo
Libra
If the lawn gnomes in your neighborhood ever decide to rise up and attack humans, you are first on their list. Double lock your windows and make sure to block the doggie door.
Libra
Libra
The good news is someone is going to buy you a gift you will really need. The bad news is it is a book entitled, 50 Things to do While Under House Arrest.
Libra
Scorpio
Giving up caffeine is a good idea. But suddenly replacing that daily energy jolt with meth amphetamines is bad choice. Start with Redbull and work your way up
Scorpio
Capricorn
You're going to make a huge impression this week. Your butt is going to make a sweaty, deep, permanent impression on your couch cushion.
Capricorn
Aquarius
The guy who keeps staring at you at the coffee shop thinks you sent him a nude photo in response to his ad on Craigslist. The staring will continue until you buy him a large mochachino as a gesture of good will.
Aquarius
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