Email To Friends | |
Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.
Wednesday, March 6th
You will soon be coming into some money. You'll find a five dollar bill on the street that a rich person just blew their nose into.
Someone recently told you if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. You should tell them you've successfully been a part of neither for a long time.
You have the sensitive frailty of a tiny spring flower, and a similar IQ.
Loved ones will soon be turning away from your cries for help. Try crying for help in a slightly deeper voice, the high pitch makes their skin crawl.
Don't respond to any new friend requests on Facebook for the next week. Unless it is Sverd Head. Having him as a friend will open up doors in your life that you can scarcely imagine.
Have you been cutting yourself to avoid dealing with the realities of the economic down turn? That's hilarious. Stay in touch....we'd love to know what other freakish coping mechanisms you come up with.
Are you ready for a tender-hearted romance but feel frustrated by something that always gets in the way? It's called a restraining order.
You have a coworker who likes to roam around the office after hours licking people's chairs. He has sampled every one in the office except yours, which he finds foul.
Someone is going to slip something in your drink at the bar. Luckily, you are such a raging alcoholic that you did not even notice.
By the time you get home from work today your wife will have ended one affair and started another. We can barely keep up with the worthless tramp. You need to put the smack down on that bizotch asap.
At least you are alone by choice. Though, it is the choice of others.
The person who occasionally breaks into your house to use your toothbrush has just developed a fascination with your underwear drawer.