Email To Friends | |
Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.
Wednesday, April 24th
There was a time in your elementary school days where you were considered extremely attractive. It began on a Monday afternoon and ended the following Tuesday. Hopefully, you enjoyed it, because it will never happen again.
You work at P&G. You wear khaki pants every day. And you think Starbucks is cool. OMFG dude!
Is Tim Hedrick really your only friend on Facebook? Hahahaha!
Worried about growing old and lonely? Come on, you should be used the loneliness by now. Your best bet is to suck it up and get a better TV.
Blacktopping driveways will be a big part of your next career move. It won't be how you'll make your money, it will be something your boss will force you to do as a means of harassment.
A bump on the head causes a loss of memory, but another bump brings it back, You have no recollection of either incident.
Stressful moments can be overcome by quiet, meditative reflection. However, your mind may not be cut out for meditative reflection. Try numbing yourself with cough syrup instead.
On your next trip to the track, bet on the number two horse. It isn't going to win, but you will find a new love who adores the way you scream, Deuce! C'mon deuce!
Car part prices, mustache grooming equipment, and certain farming principles. Regarding everything else, always seek the advice of a qualified professional.
Wonderful news! You are going to meet a nice new guy online who would like to take you on vacation! His name is Joran Van Der Sloot and he's paying for your one way ticket.
Did you hear that noise? Yes, you did. No one else heard it, but you definitely did. Does this make you insane? Yes.
When the clock strikes eleven tonight, it would be a smart move for you to open and close the front door repeatedly while screaming the lyrics to American Pie.