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Friday, October 31st - 11:30 AM-11:00 PM

$6.50 fish and fries @ Mt. Lookout Tavern (MLT's)

DERF Happy Hour

Friday, Oct 31 - 5:30PM-9:00PM

Mt. Lookout Tavern (MLT's), $10 for 10 Beers -OR- 7 Cocktails!
lame horoscopes

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Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.


Tuesday, June 25th

Aries
This week if you may look in the mirror and notice an attractive and intelligent person looking back at you. That's your roommate looking at the one-way mirror you secretly installed in her bedroom.
Aries
Taurus
You'll be getting some extra sleep this week. The bad news is it is going to happen while you are driving.
Taurus
Taurus
Get out of the old breakfast routine. Have a bagel instead of malt liquor and see what that does to improve your day.
Taurus
Taurus
It is time to ramp up your relationship to the next level. For your next meal, skip the drive thru and take her to a nice sit down meal at Bob Evans. Recommend that she order the knife and fork sandwich, and watch her eyes light up in awe at your sophistication.
Taurus
Gemini
Your dog is shedding at about three times the normal rate. This is a sign for you to collect all of the hair and make a pretend dog. Then save a lot of money by giving your real dog to a better family.
Gemini
Gemini
You will be visited in your dreams by a mythical lion who will tell you the secret to eternal happiness. You will then be visited while awake by a real lion who will maul and eat you.
Gemini
Leo
On your next trip to the track, bet on the number two horse. It isn't going to win, but you will find a new love who adores the way you scream, Deuce! C'mon deuce!
Leo
Virgo
If you are going to lead the resistance, you must first show the other employees of Popeye's Chicken that you are not afraid to stand up to company management. Your courage will earn the respect of chicken workers everywhere.
Virgo
Sagittarius
By the time you get home from work today your wife will have ended one affair and started another. We can barely keep up with the worthless tramp. You need to put the smack down on that bizotch asap.
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Every time you do a favor for a friend, it may later bring you good karma. Just in case it doesn't, make sure you write it down in a safe place so you can remind that friend later when you need bail money or a ride to the Talbot House sobriety counseling center.
Capricorn
Aquarius
When you see someone who has achieved great success, remember you will never be that successful. Try to avoid being around accomplished people. They will damage your self-esteem with all their fancy talk about graduating from high school, etc.
Aquarius
Aquarius
The pedestrian you hit this week lived. Also the old geezer memorized your license plate number. You still have time to ?pay him a little visit' at Good Samaritan hospital.
Aquarius
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