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Thursday, July 31st - 4:00 PM-9:00 PM

Happy Hour @ Mt. Lookout Tavern (MLT's)

DERF Happy Hour

Friday, Aug 1 - 5:30PM-9:00PM

The Oak Tavern, $10 for 10 Beers -OR- 7 Cocktails!
lame horoscopes

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Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.


Friday, September 27th

Aries
Worried about growing old and lonely? Come on, you should be used the loneliness by now. Your best bet is to suck it up and get a better TV.
Aries
Cancer
Gather your thoughts before speaking in anger. While you are gathering your thoughts, you might want to gather some weapons too. The people you are angry at are better armed.
Cancer
Cancer
Venus and Mars will move to Scorpio and ask you to help. You’ll end up getting stuck with heavy stuff like dressers and the sofa, while they carry lamps. Politely decline
Cancer
Leo
Get out of the old breakfast routine. Have a bagel instead of malt liquor and see what that does to improve your day.
Leo
Virgo
Something is giving you a headache this week. We think it's the cat litter you haven't changed in 18 months.
Virgo
Libra
Your lucky numbers for the week are hidden in your supervisor's back hair. Search carefully, but search soon because there is a waxing in his future.
Libra
Libra
You are marching to the beat of a different drummer. In fact, it is not a drum at all, it is a clarinet. And you are not marching, you are stumbling and may fall down at any second.
Libra
Sagittarius
Have you been cutting yourself to avoid dealing with the realities of the economic down turn? That's hilarious. Stay in touch....we'd love to know what other freakish coping mechanisms you come up with.
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Step forward and make your voice heard. Unless you were choking on something when you were a kid and someone had to perform an emergency tracheotomy on you and it destroyed your voice box. In that case maybe carry a Sharpie around with you and communicate that way.
Capricorn
Capricorn
Your zest for life is never ending...just like your supply of alcohol. These two things go hand in hand.
Capricorn
Capricorn
A large Samoan will come to you with a business proposition. Give him everything in your checking account, but hang on to some savings for the therapy you'll need.
Capricorn
Pisces
Your luckiest moment in this moon cycle will occur at the same time as your most unlucky moment. This will result in you just sitting there with nothing happening. Just like always.
Pisces
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