Email To Friends | |
Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.
Friday, September 27th
Worried about growing old and lonely? Come on, you should be used the loneliness by now. Your best bet is to suck it up and get a better TV.
Gather your thoughts before speaking in anger. While you are gathering your thoughts, you might want to gather some weapons too. The people you are angry at are better armed.
Venus and Mars will move to Scorpio and ask you to help. You’ll end up getting stuck with heavy stuff like dressers and the sofa, while they carry lamps. Politely decline
Get out of the old breakfast routine. Have a bagel instead of malt liquor and see what that does to improve your day.
Something is giving you a headache this week. We think it's the cat litter you haven't changed in 18 months.
Your lucky numbers for the week are hidden in your supervisor's back hair. Search carefully, but search soon because there is a waxing in his future.
You are marching to the beat of a different drummer. In fact, it is not a drum at all, it is a clarinet. And you are not marching, you are stumbling and may fall down at any second.
Have you been cutting yourself to avoid dealing with the realities of the economic down turn? That's hilarious. Stay in touch....we'd love to know what other freakish coping mechanisms you come up with.
Step forward and make your voice heard. Unless you were choking on something when you were a kid and someone had to perform an emergency tracheotomy on you and it destroyed your voice box. In that case maybe carry a Sharpie around with you and communicate that way.
Your zest for life is never ending...just like your supply of alcohol. These two things go hand in hand.
A large Samoan will come to you with a business proposition. Give him everything in your checking account, but hang on to some savings for the therapy you'll need.
Your luckiest moment in this moon cycle will occur at the same time as your most unlucky moment. This will result in you just sitting there with nothing happening. Just like always.