Email To Friends | |
Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.
Wednesday, October 30th
When you hear a ticking clock, think of how each second of your life is an opportunity. You also might want to investigate where that ticking is coming from, you are not immune to bomb threats.
A casual stroll will add great vibes to your soul, and great sweat stains your armpits.
The pedestrian you hit this week lived. Also the old geezer memorized your license plate number. You still have time to ?pay him a little visit' at Good Samaritan hospital.
Get the feeling you and you're job are morphing into a single entity? This is why you smell like four-day old frying grease at Popeye's Chicken. How about a shower once in a while?
Alien beings in a far away galaxy studied you intently last year. They came to the conclusion that Earth contains no intelligent life smarter than the tapeworm.
The next knock on your door will bring a delightful surprise. The knock after that will be a team of repossession professionals to take it away.
Having difficulty finding people to invest in your business idea? The business of organ harvesting is not for every investor. Don't give up. There's a market for healthy organs taken illegally from unsuspecting drunk guys staying at the Motel 6.
You should consider getting a pet from an animal shelter. Just make sure to bring a friend along, because the staff may try to cage you for not having all your shots.
The co-workers you carpool with have given up on finding an air freshener strong enough to mask your odors. Be prepared for a confrontation.
There was a time in your elementary school days where you were considered extremely attractive. It began on a Monday afternoon and ended the following Tuesday. Hopefully, you enjoyed it, because it will never happen again.
You need to get in touch with your natural instincts, and learn to start ignoring them. They've only gotten you into trouble so far.
This week you will have several moments of self-doubt. Each and every one of them will be based in hard fact. Spend as much time as possible hiding under the covers.