Iím not a tease, but check out my voluptuous curvy form!
Heroes: The leader of my youth group who convinced me to choose abstinence
Hobbies: Shopping for revealing outfits, bending over to pick things up, falling asleep immediately after a dinner date, dry humping
Life’s Goal: To make a man’s head explode
Profession: Exotic dancer
Letís start a conspiracy of Love!
Heroes: Bigfoot, the alien who abducted me, Lyndon Larouche, the many scholars who work tirelessly to prove that the moon landing was faked by Mexican drug lords
Hobbies: Extensive internet research into government sponsored spontaneous combustion, tracking down information on the British Royal Family’s mobile meth labs
Life’s Goal: To prove the existence of the race of lizards who control the world banks
I attend self-defense training every week, so donít try anything.
Hero: Tonya Harding
Hobbies: Teaching my girlfriends how to locate male genital pressure points.
Life’s Goal: To perfect the ‘grab, pull, and twist’ technique of disabling a male assailant.
Profession: Anger Management Counselor
Itís likely Iíll be half-drunk before our date even starts
Heroes: Any sober person that can blow in the puffer that starts my car.
Hobbies: Friending bartenders on Facebook
Life’s Goal: To re-popularize lunchtime drinking in America.
Profession: Air Traffic Controller Intern
Hoping to meet the chick of my dreams at Facebook camp
Heroes: Mark Zuckerburg, Facebook Founder.
Hobbies: Thinking of funny status updates. I think my friends secretly think my updates are hilarious.
Life’s Goal: To have 300 friends on Facebook. I have 12 friends now and it's only been a year!
Profession: Still decidng on career path but I know it will be related to social networking.
Hoping a man will treat me to a romantic dinner at Fat Burger
Heroes: Willie Anderson, Owner of the Oakley Fat Burger
Hobbies: Finding new romantic fast-food hot spots
Life’s Goal: To complete a romantic summer tour of all Fat Burger's in Ohio.
Profession: Time Warner Cable Call-Center Operator