Tom
Age 28
Eden Park

Heroes: Madonna, Judy Garland, RuPaul, Dennis Rodman, J. Edgar Hoover, Cher, the inventor of Just My Size pantyhose.

Hobbies: Shopping, taking pictures of myself to post on the internet, applying large amounts of chapstick.

Life’s Goal:  To fit into my skinny jeans!

Profession: Stock room clerk at Lane Bryant

06.17.2009

Ronald
Age 41
Batavia

Heroes: The guy who won the ring toss game 43 times in a row, the dog faced boy, the inventor of the Tilt-A-Whirl

Hobbies:  Frightening children, chasing rats away from my sleeping tent, scavenging for leftover corn dogs

Life’s Goal: Saving enough money and finding enough freaks to start my own business.

Profession:  Carney

06.17.2009

Amber
Age 23
Colerain

Heroes:  Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, most of the Baldwin brothers, Gary Busey

Hobbies:  Getting trapped in challenging cycles of self-destructive behavior, finding new enablers, chasing the dragon, itching.

Life Goal: To have a strong man by my side, holding my hand, and telling me if I don’t go to rehab he’ll leave me.

Profession:  eBay reseller and weekend prostitute in Warren County

06.11.2009

Brett
Age 32
Hyde Park

Heroes:  People who get out there and make it happen every day!

Hobbies:  Networking with other ‘self-employed’ people in Starbucks, Tweeting people and updating my Facebook status to let people know I’m at Starbucks.

Life Goal:  To get one of my life-coaching quotes placed on “The Way I See It” section of my coffee cup.

Profession:  Self-employed life coach specializing in motivation techniques.

06.11.2009

Big Tom,

Age 58,

Downtown
 
 
Heroes:  The cop who let me go with just a warning after he caught me going #2 in Washington Park

Hobbies:  Asking for change, looking for cans, collecting cigarette butts, making wine from wild berries

Life’s Goal:  To share my big plastic tarp with a special lady, being first in line at the food bank on chili mac day, moving to a nicer underpass.

Profession:  Consultant

05.06.2009

Walter,

Age 29

Batavia

Heroes: Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, my mom for letting me live in the basement.

Hobbies:  Trying on tights, practicing flying off the top rope, practicing my growl

Life’s Goal:  To raise the championship belt over my head while standing in the middle of the squared circle, finding a gal who doesn’t mind me wearing a mask all the time.

Profession:  Freelance steroid salesman

05.06.2009