our breathtaking newsletter

Weekly gloriousness sent to your inbox.

Drop your email address here»

Featured Local Event         full calendar»

Thursday, April 2nd - 6:00 PM-8:30 PM

Tunes & Blooms FREE concert series @ Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden

DERF Happy Hour

Keep checking back here to find out where the next DERF Happy Hour will be!

derf dating

Email To Friends   |  

Lovely new candidates added every Wednesday.
Visit the Derf Message Boards to discuss real dating issues, tips, & stories.

Letís start a glorious new cycle of co-dependency!

Age 28,

Heroes: My alcoholic father and my Mom who works tirelessly at a liquor store. Courtney Love, Whitney Houston, Robert Downey Junior.

Hobbies: Cleaning up messes, rescuing people from themselves, reading the first chapter of self-help books and then throwing them away.

Life’s Goal: To watch an episode of Dr. Phil without it leaving me feeling empty inside.

Profession: Kindergarten teacher


Help me convince my parents I'm not gay

Age 31,
Eden Park

  James Dean, Madonna, Ellen

Hobbies: Scrapbooking, watching gladiator movies, moisturizing, making throw pillows, sunbathing in Burnett Woods.

Life's Goal:  Finding that special lady, bringing her to family gatherings to shut everyone up, helping her shop for clothes and make-up.

Profession: Masseuse


I can be yours if 12 of my 16 cats approve

Eden Park

Andrew Lloyd Webber, My Beloved Mopper...who has bravely reached the age of 18 despite having one eye and no tail.

Hobbies: Shopping for the perfect litter, rolling and unrolling balls of yarn, administering eye drops, spaying, neutering.

Life's Goal: Finding a daddy for Muffin, Pinkie, Lois, Tiny, Winkie, Mopper, Big Lou, Seamus, Vance, Petunia, Omar, Avon, Socks, Tiger, Sloth, Padfoot, and there might be some more in the garage somewhere.

Profession:  Desk clerk at SPCA


Your Mom is gonna love me, and I'm gonna love her back!


Heroes:  Demi Moore, Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Susan Sarandon and the men who got them.

Hobbies: Googling the word ‘Cougar', hanging around jazzercise classes, posting ads on Craigslist.

Life's Goal: Finding that perfect young lady to be my gal, and then seducing her mother.

Profession:  Pool boy


I've proven my love for you by creeping through your online photos everyday

Age 38,
Mt. Lookout

Heroes:  The founders of Facebook and Myspace.

Hobbies:  Hanging out in college bars, going to the park to watch joggers, downloading pictures of girls in my zip code.

Life's goal:  Getting the entire Philadelphia Eagles cheerleading squad to add me as a friend.

Profession:  Freelance tanning bed inspector.


Looking for a guy named Tony, because that's what my tattoo says

Age 24,

  Angelina Jolie, and my ex-boyfriend, Tony.

Hobbies:  Dancing, partying, searching for makeup that matches my skin tone.

Life's goal:  Finding the perfect Tony.  Or becoming a lesbian, and finding the perfect Tonya.

Profession:  Dancer


Page << 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Next>>