Let’s start a glorious new cycle of co-dependency!
Heroes: My alcoholic father and my Mom who works tirelessly at a liquor store. Courtney Love, Whitney Houston, Robert Downey Junior.
Hobbies: Cleaning up messes, rescuing people from themselves, reading the first chapter of self-help books and then throwing them away.
Life’s Goal: To watch an episode of Dr. Phil without it leaving me feeling empty inside.
Profession: Kindergarten teacher
Help me convince my parents I'm not gay
Heroes: James Dean, Madonna, Ellen
Hobbies: Scrapbooking, watching gladiator movies, moisturizing, making throw pillows, sunbathing in Burnett Woods.
Life's Goal: Finding that special lady, bringing her to family gatherings to shut everyone up, helping her shop for clothes and make-up.
I can be yours if 12 of my 16 cats approve
Heroes: Andrew Lloyd Webber, My Beloved Mopper...who has bravely reached the age of 18 despite having one eye and no tail.
Hobbies: Shopping for the perfect litter, rolling and unrolling balls of yarn, administering eye drops, spaying, neutering.
Life's Goal: Finding a daddy for Muffin, Pinkie, Lois, Tiny, Winkie, Mopper, Big Lou, Seamus, Vance, Petunia, Omar, Avon, Socks, Tiger, Sloth, Padfoot, and there might be some more in the garage somewhere.
Profession: Desk clerk at SPCA
Your Mom is gonna love me, and I'm gonna love her back!
Heroes: Demi Moore, Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Susan Sarandon and the men who got them.
Hobbies: Googling the word ‘Cougar', hanging around jazzercise classes, posting ads on Craigslist.
Life's Goal: Finding that perfect young lady to be my gal, and then seducing her mother.
Profession: Pool boy
I've proven my love for you by creeping through your online photos everyday
Heroes: The founders of Facebook and Myspace.
Hobbies: Hanging out in college bars, going to the park to watch joggers, downloading pictures of girls in my zip code.
Life's goal: Getting the entire Philadelphia Eagles cheerleading squad to add me as a friend.
Profession: Freelance tanning bed inspector.
Looking for a guy named Tony, because that's what my tattoo says
Heroes: Angelina Jolie, and my ex-boyfriend, Tony.
Hobbies: Dancing, partying, searching for makeup that matches my skin tone.
Life's goal: Finding the perfect Tony. Or becoming a lesbian, and finding the perfect Tonya.