We hope you appreciate our efforts to ensure these FAQ's meet the unique needs of the English speaking market.
Q: Is DERF a leader in innovation?
A: Yes recently we switched to the metric system. That's a sign of a really good company.
Q: Is Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield one of the most culturally significant songs in the history of music?A: Yes, The lyrics will be posted here shortly.
Q: Does DERF have a spiritual leader?
A: Yes, Kristi Yamaguchi.
Q: What is the education level of most DERF employees?
A: All DERF emoployees were home-schooled.
Q: Does DERF care about any environmental issues?
A: We are active in the fight against global beer warming caused by damage to the beer-zone layer.
Q: Does DERF have self-lubricating technology?
A: Not to brag but yes. Also, DERF is infused with gentle exfoliating micro-beads.
Q: Can DERF predict the weather?
A: No, who would try to compete with Derk Beasely, Channel 5 Meteorologist?
Q: Does DERF engage in human trafficking?
A: We ceased all human trafficking operations in 2007 after the lease on our PODS container expired.
Q: Does DERF give back to the community?
A: Yes, we regularly donate pieces of our carbon footprint to people with undersized carbon footprints.
Q: Does DERF publish news from the future?
A: If we do, we'll let you know in advance.
Q: Where is DERF Headquarters?
A: Currently we operate quite comfortably in the employee breakroom of the Westchester IKEA store.
Q: Why are DERF parties so much fun?
A: DERF parties rock beyond how things normally rock.
Thank you for helping DERF win the battle against journalistic integrity. Feel free to stop by and pick up a sample of our new visco-elastic memory cells!