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Featured Local Event         full calendar»

Monday, April 6th - 1:00 PM-1:00 PM

Opening Day and Findlay Market Parade @ Cincinnati

DERF Happy Hour

Keep checking back here to find out where the next DERF Happy Hour will be!


We hope you appreciate our efforts to ensure these FAQ's meet the unique needs of the English speaking market.

Q:  Is DERF a leader in innovation?
A:  Yes recently we switched to the metric system.  That's a sign of a really good company.

Q:  Is Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield one of the most culturally significant songs in the history of music?A:  Yes, The lyrics will be posted here shortly.

Q:  Does DERF have a spiritual leader?
A:  Yes, Kristi Yamaguchi.

Q:  What is the education level of most DERF employees?
A:  All DERF emoployees were home-schooled.

Q:  Does DERF care about any environmental issues?
A:  We are active in the fight against global beer warming caused by damage to the beer-zone layer.

Q:  Does DERF have self-lubricating technology?
A:  Not to brag but yes.  Also, DERF is infused with gentle exfoliating micro-beads.

Q:  Can DERF predict the weather?
A:  No, who would try to compete with Derk Beasely, Channel 5 Meteorologist?

Q:  Does DERF engage in human trafficking?
A:  We ceased all human trafficking operations in 2007 after the lease on our PODS container expired.

Q:  Does DERF give back to the community?
A:  Yes, we regularly donate pieces of our carbon footprint to people with undersized carbon footprints.

Q:  Does DERF publish news from the future?
A:  If we do, we'll let you know in advance.

Q:  Where is DERF Headquarters?
A:  Currently we operate quite comfortably in the employee breakroom of the Westchester IKEA store. 

Q:  Why are DERF parties so much fun?
A:  DERF parties rock beyond how things normally rock. 

Thank you for helping DERF win the battle against journalistic integrity.  Feel free to stop by and pick up a sample of our new visco-elastic memory cells!

Parties, concerts, nightlife, benefits, art, wine, sports, theater, and more.