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Featured Local Event         full calendar»

Tuesday, September 16th - 11:00 AM-11:00 PM

Taco Tuesdays @ Mt. Lookout Tavern (MLT's)

DERF Happy Hour

Keep checking back here to find out where the next DERF Happy Hour will be!

lame horoscopes

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Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.


Thursday, September 4th

Aries
You work at P&G. You wear khaki pants every day. And you think Starbucks is cool. OMFG dude!
Aries
Taurus
Get out of the old breakfast routine. Have a bagel instead of malt liquor and see what that does to improve your day.
Taurus
Gemini
Embrace you personal defects. An online database which lists all of your defects will be complete for you to review as soon as our data entry team completes the eleven year phase of entering your defects.
Gemini
Cancer
You'll soon encounter that weird kid who you made fun of in junior high school. He'll be conducting your job interview, and he remembers you well.
Cancer
Leo
Don't be afraid to make new friends. In fact, don't be afraid to give them the keys to your house and your ATM card.
Leo
Virgo
Your career forecast is dark. Time to start thinking about faking a slip and fall accident at your local grocery store. It is the only thing you might be good at.
Virgo
Libra
You're seventh DUI is going to make you feel a bit nostalgic about those first few DUIs. Let yourself take a mental trip down memory lane while they process you at the county correctional facility.
Libra
Scorpio
Ever have that not so fresh feeling? Everyone downwind from you has.
Scorpio
Sagittarius
That last piece of fried chicken you had was extremely high in calories. The worse news is, it wasn't chicken. You should have noticed the flea collar.
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Venus and Mars will move to Scorpio and ask you to help. You’ll end up getting stuck with heavy stuff like dressers and the sofa, while they carry lamps. Politely decline
Capricorn
Aquarius
The good news is someone is going to buy you a gift you will really need. The bad news is it is a book entitled, 50 Things to do While Under House Arrest.
Aquarius
Pisces
You are your own worst enemy. But you already knew that. What may be news to you is you are everyone else's worst enemy too.
Pisces


Previous Weeks:

Thursday, August 14th
Wednesday, July 30th
Tuesday, July 1st

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