Email To Friends | |
Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.
Friday, December 19th
You'll soon encounter that weird kid who you made fun of in junior high school. He'll be conducting your job interview, and he remembers you well.
There are times when it is best to let the universe take care of everything. Washing your hair is not one of those situations. For goodness sake start lathering, rinsing and repeating.
Don't take let a Gemini use your bathroom this week, unless you know a Libra who is knows how to install an industrial strength exhaust fan. You may also want to befriend a Taurus with plumbing experience.
You are going to produce a sweat stain on your date's couch that looks like the Mona Lisa. Take a picture of it, then get out of there quick before anyone notices
Describing your pet as a rescue is not impressing your friends. They know you would never climb down a well to rescue anything.
You work at P&G. You wear khaki pants every day. And you think Starbucks is cool. OMFG dude!
Have you noticed a strange and constant rotting smell everywhere you go? That's your soul. Get some clinical strength deodorant and see an exorcist.
Your zest for life is never ending...just like your supply of alcohol. These two things go hand in hand.
Having difficulty finding people to invest in your business idea? The business of organ harvesting is not for every investor. Don't give up. There's a market for healthy organs taken illegally from unsuspecting drunk guys staying at the Motel 6.
Even if someone doesn't want help, give it to them anyway. Tell them their approach is novice and looks ridiculous. Be even more of an overbearing know-it-all than you already are. This will give you a confidence boost.
Getting the feeling you're being treated like a doormat again? It's good that you have the sensitivity to understand when you are being disrespected. But also you should stop wearing that t-shirt that says 'Welcome'.
Don't respond to any new friend requests on Facebook for the next week. Unless it is Sverd Head. Having him as a friend will open up doors in your life that you can scarcely imagine.
Previous Weeks:Thursday, November 6th
Wednesday, October 29th
Sunday, October 5th