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Featured Local Event         full calendar»

Saturday, December 20th - 4:00 PM-9:00 PM

Happy Hour @ Mt. Lookout Tavern (MLT's)

DERF Happy Hour

Keep checking back here to find out where the next DERF Happy Hour will be!

lame horoscopes

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Depressing & Uninspiring. Every Wednesday.
Send to friends to ruin their day too.


Friday, December 19th

Aries
You'll soon encounter that weird kid who you made fun of in junior high school. He'll be conducting your job interview, and he remembers you well.
Aries
Taurus
There are times when it is best to let the universe take care of everything. Washing your hair is not one of those situations. For goodness sake start lathering, rinsing and repeating.
Taurus
Gemini
Don't take let a Gemini use your bathroom this week, unless you know a Libra who is knows how to install an industrial strength exhaust fan. You may also want to befriend a Taurus with plumbing experience.
Gemini
Cancer
You are going to produce a sweat stain on your date's couch that looks like the Mona Lisa. Take a picture of it, then get out of there quick before anyone notices
Cancer
Leo
Describing your pet as a rescue is not impressing your friends. They know you would never climb down a well to rescue anything.
Leo
Virgo
You work at P&G. You wear khaki pants every day. And you think Starbucks is cool. OMFG dude!
Virgo
Libra
Have you noticed a strange and constant rotting smell everywhere you go? That's your soul. Get some clinical strength deodorant and see an exorcist.
Libra
Scorpio
Your zest for life is never ending...just like your supply of alcohol. These two things go hand in hand.
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Having difficulty finding people to invest in your business idea? The business of organ harvesting is not for every investor. Don't give up. There's a market for healthy organs taken illegally from unsuspecting drunk guys staying at the Motel 6.
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Even if someone doesn't want help, give it to them anyway. Tell them their approach is novice and looks ridiculous. Be even more of an overbearing know-it-all than you already are. This will give you a confidence boost.
Capricorn
Aquarius
Getting the feeling you're being treated like a doormat again? It's good that you have the sensitivity to understand when you are being disrespected. But also you should stop wearing that t-shirt that says 'Welcome'.
Aquarius
Pisces
Don't respond to any new friend requests on Facebook for the next week. Unless it is Sverd Head. Having him as a friend will open up doors in your life that you can scarcely imagine.
Pisces


Previous Weeks:

Thursday, November 6th
Wednesday, October 29th
Sunday, October 5th

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