Overzealous Ford executive outsources own family.
DETROIT, MI - As a logical outgrowth of Corporate America's continual focus on job reduction, the wife and children of Ford Motor Company Executive Richard Jennings received pink slips this week at their home in a Detroit suburb. Jennings stated, "This is an unfortunate but necessary result of an aggressive business plan that is not a reflection of my family members' performance in the household." Jennings added that his wife and children will receive a generous severance package and Ford is committed to provide retraining to ensure these people are placed with acceptable new families.
- Oscar Meyer awarded Nobel Prize for meat extrusion
- Yacht club waste dumped in Ohio River. Hooters waste battered, fried, sold to happy customers
- Corpse found wrapped in KEEP CINCINNATI BEAUTIFUL banner
- Jeff Ruby breaks thirty second media silence to appear on Food Network
- Krohn Conservatory reports dismal ringtone sales
- Escaped butterflies from Krohn Conservatory terrorize Mt. Adams