Local Police confused and alarmed by governmentís Donut Call list.
Confusing the government's "Do Not Call List" for a non-existent "Donut Call List" many Cincinnati Police Officers who depend on a steady supply of donuts from local bakeries are in a heightened state of alert. Panic gripped local law officials after District 1 Sergeant Theodore Jacobsen misinterpreted the wording of the "Do Not Call List" while reading the morning orders to the Officers. Jacobsen mistakenly explained to the entire District 1 Police Force that every Officer who wants a donut must apparently submit their name and donut preference to the governmentís "Donut Call List". Disgruntled Officer Adam Haas immediately reacted by saying, "I donít think the government should control the flow of donuts. The system was working fine the way it was. We were able to sit in Busken's all day and eat all the donuts we wanted. For those of us who risk our safety everyday I don't think that was too much to ask." Several owners of local bakeries have stated they will continue to support the thin blue line and hope the confusion clears up soon.
- Purple People Bridge Climb replaced by Purple People Bridge Climb Museum
- SNOW EMERGENCY: Area girlfriends unable to return stuffed Valentineís bears to CVS
- Jeff Ruby takes out full-page ad criticizing Rachel Maddow for male gender denial
- Gorilla Glue production halted due to worldwide shortage of dead gorillas.
- Donald Trumpís hair asks for hurricane relief funds
- 700 WLW shifts focus of billboard campaign to Canadians