Gorilla Glue production halted due to worldwide shortage of dead gorillas.
CINCINNATI - The Gorilla Glue company warned retailers this week to expect product shipping delays this holiday season due to limited availability of the productís key ingredient dead gorillas. The manufacturer located on Redbank Road explained the growing season for gorillas this year was stunted due to unfortunate rain forest weather shifts that impacted the gorilla food source. Gorilla harvesting is expected to increase next year allowing a return to profitability in businesses that depend on dead gorillas as the primary raw material.
- Fountain Square video screen to begin showing gunfire instant replay
- Halloween tour of Zanesville Pet Cemetery offers extended hours
- Cinnabon customer first human to develop type III diabetes
- Everyone finally files suit against everyone else
- Jeff Ruby takes out full-page ad criticizing Rachel Maddow for male gender denial
- Area vagrants devastated by pet food tainting