Gorilla Glue production halted due to worldwide shortage of dead gorillas.
CINCINNATI - The Gorilla Glue company warned retailers this week to expect product shipping delays this holiday season due to limited availability of the productís key ingredient dead gorillas. The manufacturer located on Redbank Road explained the growing season for gorillas this year was stunted due to unfortunate rain forest weather shifts that impacted the gorilla food source. Gorilla harvesting is expected to increase next year allowing a return to profitability in businesses that depend on dead gorillas as the primary raw material.
- Faulty Boeing 787s retrofitted for Cincinnati Streetcar duty
- Stuck lunar exploration rover calls OnStar
- Meth lab destroyed in house fire
- News from the Pearly Gates: Al Davis and Carl Lindner find little to talk about
- Box wine connoisseur unveils extensive collection
- Santaís reindeer replaced with hydrogen fuel cells