Gorilla Glue production halted due to worldwide shortage of dead gorillas.
CINCINNATI - The Gorilla Glue company warned retailers this week to expect product shipping delays this holiday season due to limited availability of the product’s key ingredient dead gorillas. The manufacturer located on Redbank Road explained the growing season for gorillas this year was stunted due to unfortunate rain forest weather shifts that impacted the gorilla food source. Gorilla harvesting is expected to increase next year allowing a return to profitability in businesses that depend on dead gorillas as the primary raw material.
- Delta to open outlet shopping mall in empty concourses
- Last subscriber to Cincinnati Enquirer print edition enters hospice
- Misspelling of 'Libya' in search engines causes traffic spike on porn sites worldwide.
- McRib's return bolsters US sodium content by 500%
- In Memory of Dave Thomas, Wendy’s Announces All Chili Servings Will Be Sprinkled With a Pinch of Dave’s Remains… While Supplies Last.
- Lakota school district students well prepared for West Chester’s many dishwasher jobs