Gorilla Glue production halted due to worldwide shortage of dead gorillas.
CINCINNATI - The Gorilla Glue company warned retailers this week to expect product shipping delays this holiday season due to limited availability of the productís key ingredient dead gorillas. The manufacturer located on Redbank Road explained the growing season for gorillas this year was stunted due to unfortunate rain forest weather shifts that impacted the gorilla food source. Gorilla harvesting is expected to increase next year allowing a return to profitability in businesses that depend on dead gorillas as the primary raw material.
- Amazon Kindle named top gift for spouses out of ideas
- Rumpke reports record intake of discarded NCAA pool brackets
- Area teacher copes with plummeting self-esteem after failing to seduce student
- Streetcar crew graduates from Brandery 2014 class while working nearby
- White House asks manager of Oakley Fat Burger to step down
- Preparing for prison life, Martha Stewart makes elegant improvements to prison uniform.