Gorilla Glue production halted due to worldwide shortage of dead gorillas.
CINCINNATI - The Gorilla Glue company warned retailers this week to expect product shipping delays this holiday season due to limited availability of the productís key ingredient dead gorillas. The manufacturer located on Redbank Road explained the growing season for gorillas this year was stunted due to unfortunate rain forest weather shifts that impacted the gorilla food source. Gorilla harvesting is expected to increase next year allowing a return to profitability in businesses that depend on dead gorillas as the primary raw material.
- Jeff Ruby takes out full-page ad criticizing Rachel Maddow for male gender denial
- Cincinnati creates anti-flower pot violence downtown task force
- Media examines how media has examined the examination of the media
- This article considered highly offensive by all peoples
- Girl Scout Cookie feeding-tube boosts profits
- Line for breakfast at FirstWatch finally dips below seven weeks