General Electric innovates ultra-neutral employee holiday greeting card.
NEW YORK - Employees of General Electric received holiday wishes this week in the form of a newly developed non-denominational holiday greeting card.
Commissioned for design by an outside communications consultant, the card is carefully formulated to convey an entirely neutral message. Industry experts agree the card sets a new benchmark of dispassionate holiday acknowledgement.
The inside of the greeting card contains a 300 word disclaimer releasing General Electric and it's executives from liability related to any perceived religious bias. All GE employees are required to visit the GE corporate website to provide an ackowledgement they have read and understand the disclaimer.
The company has also set up a dedicated telephone hotline for emplyees who wish to discuss potential offensiveness issues related to the holiday greeting card.
Employees who do not wish to keep the greeting card are encouraged to dispose of it in specially provided holiday card recycling containers provided throughout all GE office locations.
Although General Electric has long been considered an innovator in politically correct corporate communications, reports indicate 100% of General Electric employees consider the card’s inhuman tone to be profoundly offensive.
- Hudepohl smokestack to be relocated at sight of Gamble House
- Retailers announce thirty whore shopping days until Halloween
- Back-to-school gun sales reach all time high
- Nyquil introduces Cold & Ebola formula
- People not missing demand equal milk carton exposure
- Frito-Lay Announces New Single-Chip Travel Pack