Convicted former Enron CEO announces plans to make convicted former Tyco CEO his bitch.
Interest rates set to dip below zero.
Enormous new Krogers will feature produce area with actual farmland.
Anderson Township - Unveiling plansthis week for the largest Krogers store in America, Krogers officials discussed the mega-store's unique shopping experience involving 5,000 acres of rolling farmland called KrogerAcres. Shoppers will have the opportunity to grow all of their food and conduct all farming activities including soil preparation, planting, harvesting, etc. To begin the farming process, shoppers simply visit the KrogerAcres Kiosk and enter their credit card number to lease the required acreage and make equipment purchases such as crop dusting airplanes, grain storage silos, and irrigation infrastructure. To ensure a complete farming experience, KrogerAcres will also offer a bankruptcy law firm for shoppers who encounter financial disaster due to plummeting crop prices created by unfair and predatory market practices by national mega-grocery store chains.
- Charlie Rose Show ratings unchanged when network accidentally airs footage of empty set.
- Catholic Priests provide security checks for kids at airport check-in lines
- Faulty Boeing 787s retrofitted for Cincinnati Streetcar duty
- Shares of GM stock recycled as Buick floor mats
- Government study states the internet is mostly to blame for the proliferation of web porn.
- Starbucks changes wifi password to ‘getajobloser’