Delta purchased for 8 billion frequent flyer points

ATLANTA—Delta Airlines announced today that an ink-smudged fax was responsible for a miscommunication that led Delta officials to believe that US Airways had made a merger proposal for $8 billion in cash. “We were actually considering cashing in 8 million frequent flyer points before they expire.” says US Airways spokesperson Evans Copeland. Nevertheless, Copeland is hopeful that a deal can be made. “Anyone can misread a fax. The important thing is we’re talking.”

Senior Delta officials were not available for comment. But an inside source at Delta’s headquarters in Atlanta told DERF under the condition of anonymity that Delta is to blame for the mishap. “I told them that the toner light on the fax machine was blinking, like, for days,” said the source. “All they had to do was authorize me to buy more toner, but noooooo…everyone was too busy—like they don’t take two-hour lunch breaks and leave at 4:30 everyday— and now look what happens.”