Miami University offers self-tanning curriculum
OXFORD, OH - Following the examples of several schools around the country, Miami University has instituted self-tanning as a field of study. The University plans to become a world leader in self-tanning academia.
Even before the decision was made to add self-tanning curriculum, Miami has been known for a well bronzed student body, seemingly year round. “We’ve been telling people we’re the Harvard of the Midwest for a long time now,” proclaimed University Trustee Dr. Richard Herzog. “Maybe now we can try calling ourselves the UCLA of the Midwest or the Florida State of the Midwest or perhaps the Miami of the Midwest. That just might stick.”
The self-tanning study program will be an intense look at all forms of artificial tans, with particular areas of concentration in gels, lotions, powders and aerosols. There have been no decisions made on hiring staff, but it is expected that the new department will be taught by experts from the world of cosmetology as well as adjunct professors of bronzer from the Home Shopping Network.
To celebrate the new program, Miami is considering changing the school color to orange. There have also been rumors that upcoming commencement addresses will be delivered by guest speaker George Hamilton.
- Nyquil introduces Cold & Ebola formula
- Government seeks new healthcare overhaul after debut of KFC Double Down sandwich
- Florence Mall Santa disfigured in meth lab explosion
- Engineers plan Central Parkway Ironic Beard Lane
- Local gangs integrate CinWeekly logo in gang graffiti
- Starbucks price hike includes fee for handwritten name on cup