Internet eliminates third shift to reduce costs
INTERNET HEADQUARTERS – Representatives of the internet announced this week the worldwide web will close down its lagging 11pm-7am shift as the first of several cost reduction measures.
“Supporting such a massive infrastructure during sleeping hours didn’t make financial sense. Our data shows hardly anyone uses the internet during this time.” Said internet spokesperson, David Powell.
Officials say the plan is to close the internet building each night at 11pm and allow all of the internet workers to go home until the morning. People who try to log on to the internet will see a screen message that says, “Closed for the evening. Please come back at 7am.”
A press release from internet headquarters announced further possible cost reductions including reduced holiday hours and the elimination of lunchtime hours.
- Yacht club waste dumped in Ohio River. Hooters waste battered, fried, sold to happy customers
- CVG FOR SALE: Same price as one-way trip to Newark
- Ground-breaking Coke innovations continue to rock cola world.
- Fiddle Hero popular among Kentucky gamers
- Injured casino workers offered free buffet vouchers
- Cincinnati criminals consider offers to relocate to Detroit