Big Bird Flu ravages large bird puppet community.
The World Health Organization issued an epidemic flu warning to large bird puppets this week. The Big Bird Flu virus is spreading rapidly within the large bird puppet community which includes mostly entertainment puppets and popular sports mascots. Currently in quarantine and under close watch are several prominent large bird puppets including Big Bird, the Atlanta Hawks mascot, and the Philadelphia Eagles mascot. Many college and high school mascots around the country are also being monitored closely. The virus vaccination, which comes in the form of an oversized colorful Nerf syringe, is now available but officials urge large bird puppets to visit vaccination centers during non-peak hours to avoid long lines and unnecessary conflict between rival puppets.
- Paris Hilton claims to have held Lindsey Lohan’s purse for last 8 weeks
- Conan, Jay, Oprah, Ellen seek sex scandals to boost ratings
- Andy Rooney’s family begs him to return to work
- Channel 5 wins regional Emmy for excellence in snow shoveling tips
- Carson Daly loses time slot to infomercial
- Studio passes on Fifty Shades of Miley Cyrus movie