Michael Jackson 92% recyclable
LOS ANGELES – The LA County Coroner released autopsy results this week indicating Michael Jackson’s body is composed of 92% post-consumer goods. Throughout the iconic singer’s life, numerous plastic surgery procedures have replaced 92% of the human tissue with recyclable materials.
The Coroner’s office reportedly returned to the Jackson Family over 100 pounds of plastic, nylon, and silicone to the which was then placed in a curbside recycling bin outside Jackson’s Bel Air residence.
Neighbors reported seeing Joan Rivers sorting through the recyclable components and may have left with a chin implant and a pair of cheek implants.
- Cincinnati gets Oscar nomination for “Most Overreaction to Movie Being Filmed in City”
- Heroic Eden Park resident frees captive butterflies from Krohn Conservatory
- Sarah Palin gives away cars, books, and bastard children on Oprah
- Bobby Brown lowers flags to half staff after running out of blow
- Anna Nicole Smith's neighbors annoyed by endless convoy of TrimSpa delivery trucks.
- Chad Johnson refrains from booty pats during jail term