Michael Jackson 92% recyclable
LOS ANGELES – The LA County Coroner released autopsy results this week indicating Michael Jackson’s body is composed of 92% post-consumer goods. Throughout the iconic singer’s life, numerous plastic surgery procedures have replaced 92% of the human tissue with recyclable materials.
The Coroner’s office reportedly returned to the Jackson Family over 100 pounds of plastic, nylon, and silicone to the which was then placed in a curbside recycling bin outside Jackson’s Bel Air residence.
Neighbors reported seeing Joan Rivers sorting through the recyclable components and may have left with a chin implant and a pair of cheek implants.
- Local man divorces wife to avoid seeing ‘New Moon’
- Obama holds jackass summit with Kanye West and Serena Williams
- Andy Rooney’s family begs him to return to work
- Scheduling lunch a futile struggle for chums Ronald Reagan and Charleton Heston
- "I have an extra ticket to REO Speedwagon at Riverbend" least successful Cincinnati pickup line
- Anderson Cooper outs self in hopes of getting free tickets to Magic Mike