Obama holds jackass summit with Kanye West and Serena Williams

WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama requested the presence of Kanye West and Serena Williams in the first ever White House Jackass Summit. Both stars showed up for the event after their embarrassing outbursts led to invitations.

At first, Kanye West claimed to have a previous commitment, where he planned to interrupt a best man’s speech during a wedding reception. After some juggling of his schedule, Kanye travelled to Washington DC and spent the morning sightseeing before the summit. Reportedly, he was able to disrupt tour guides at the Smithsonian, Lincoln Memorial, and Holocaust Museum before heading to the White House for the historic summit.

Serena Williams also had trouble rearranging her schedule for the summit, as she was scheduled to appear at a convention of longshoremen to give them tips on cursing. She also had to cancel plans for a job interview as a Time Warner Cable customer service operator. She was allowed access to the White House only after the Secret Service performed a body cavity search ensuring she was not bringing in tennis balls.

The summit was held in the east wing of the White House, where President Obama planned to let the pair explore all aspects of jackass behavior while he acted as a mediator. Unfortunately, the summit had to be cut short when South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson interrupted, bursting into the room and calling Obama a liar for not inviting him.

Upon leaving the White House, Kanye West stated, “Get outta my way. I gotta get to Patrick Swayze’s funeral to let him know Michael Jackson had the best funeral of all time.”