Jennifer Lopez buys chain of hardware stores.
LOS ANGELES - Considered an unusual move by Hollywood insiders, a spokesperson for Jennifer Lopez recently announced the singer/songwriter/ model/actress/producer/entrepreneur has completed negotiations for the purchase of the highly successful hardware chain, Lowe's.
Lopez Business Manager, Howard Tolokosnsky, says, "We see hardware as the next frontier in celebrity endorsement. Jennifer's reputation as a quality performer will give the consumer confidence when making hardware purchases such as plywood, construction adhesive, drywall, and caulking."
Critics say this brings the concept of shameless mega-celebrity pandering to new and even more useless levels.
- Katie Holmes hopes divorce doesn't prevent her from reaching Scientology Level 7
- America outraged by Miley Cyrus; slightly agitated by Syrian chemical massacre
- Taylor Swift writes angry revenge song after breaking up with Spotify
- Man addicted to watching A&E's Intervention program
- Gamblers have Shadow Hare at 3-1 odds as mystery witness in Widmer trial
- CNN reveals bullied bus monitor actually Piers Morgan working undercover