Oprah steps up hurricane relief with three state purchase.
CHICAGO, IL - Oprah Winfrey signed a purchase agreement this week with the US Government giving her complete ownership of the three state region including Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama. The popular Talk Show Host sought ownership of the storm torn area as a means of directly managing all Hurricane Katrina relief efforts.
Dubbed by the media as the Harpo Gulf, the area has already benefited at the mere prospect of an association with the beloved celebrity. Much of the water receded and electrical power has returned this week simply from the announcement of the completed purchase. Also, crime has subsided and looting has ceased in response to Oprah's presence.
George W. Bush has expressed confidence in Oprah's abilities and has promised to check on her progress while on a five week vacation at his Texas ranch beginning next week
- Actual vampires outraged by portrayal as lame teens
- Members of One Direction admit they were the ones booing Justin Beiber
- America needs time to process the 96-page USA TODAY Michael Jackson commemorative edition before next celebrity death
- Lack of Oprah and Casey Anthony on TV drives housewives to alcoholism
- Shirley Temple fans who thought she was already dead grieve once more
- Tristate watch for Rosemary Clooney unsuccessful