lifestyle News Archive

• Local man sets record low in charity date auction

• KATIE VS. MEN: People who live in glass houses, shouldn’t throw stones
• Couple hires Personal Shoplifter
• KATIE VS. MEN: How to tell if he’s one of the good guys

• KATIE VS. MEN: What Really Turns a Guy On?
• EDITORIAL: It ain’t easy being a sex symbol in this town
• KATIE VS. MEN: Are We Forgetting Our Bedroom Manners?

• KATIE VS. MEN: Are random, bad hook-ups worse than no hook-ups?
• KATIE Vs. MEN: What’s Your Deal-Breaker?
• Sometimes I can dance exactly like Justin Timberlake without even trying
• Woman Dumps Boyfriend via Powerpoint Presentation
• UPLIFTING COMMUNITY MOMENT: Back of the house employees allowed to meet front of the house employees at upscale restaurant
• KATIE VS. MEN: Is it okay to ask a guy out?

• Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?
• Got bedroom skills?
• EDITORIAL - Let’s review the 27 ways I bring it

• KATIE VS. MEN - Ménage a Trois?
• EDITORIAL: It’s no secret that I'm pretty much the Tony Soprano of the Kenwood/Madeira area
• KATIE VS. MEN: Which Men are Better? 20-somethings or 30-somethings?
• DERF EDITORIAL - That song Promiscuous Girl totally reminds me of my Mom

• EDITORIAL: I am freakishly confident every sentence below will exceed your expectations.
• KATIE VS. MEN: Male-Female Friends…Really?
• Church step climbers disappointed by Purple People Bridge ads
• EDITORIAL: I'm about to unleash a ringtone on my friends that will rock their world

• EDITORIAL: When a friend asks me to watch their drink in the bar I really watch it.
• Irish Americans argue DUI laws culturally biased
• Derf writers agree only the most maladjusted, immature, and dysfunctional people will enjoy this article
• 11% of Cincinnati teachers can read.
• The beer line at this year's Spring Fling party stretched all the way to Ault Park

• Valentine's Day cookies cause fatal cardiac arrest.
• Clay Aiken's music turns iPod gay
• Deer decoy badly damaged in crash that caused death of elderly couple.

• Oakley man marries Golden Tee video game.

• Drunk drivers thank Enquirer for posting Friday checkpoints
• Gay man admits to being a Congressman

• Area woman announces plans for all that junk, all that junk inside her trunk.
• Newport family reunion convenient opportunity for drug intervention.
• Drivers insulted by lower than actual speed readings.
• Study indicates car accidents leading cause of dropped cell phone calls.
• Norwood neighborhood block party cancelled due to lack of neighborhood.

• Alarming number of Cincinnatians find breathing easier during smog alerts.

• Disgruntled fraternity guy publishes secret handshake on internet.

• Uglier daughter never included in family pictures.
• Son diligently prepares to take over family Sno Castle empire
• Mt. Lookout resident Brett Schadler unable to attend next Derf Happy Hour due to hair appointment
• Detroit looters inconvenienced by power outage.
• God Appeared at Crossroads Community Church hoping it was still a hardware store.
• Ham radio hobbyist depressed to learn his lifelong radio friend in Norway really lives in Norwood.

• Boss gets strange looks after telling workers he is in love with them
• No Surprise - Report Says Drunks At Teller's Slightly More Polite Than Drunks At Arthur's.
• Tragedy - Randy Beattie of Kiwanis International Misplaces I.D. Badge
• Boy finally informs parents he is adopted.
• Ohio's oldest alter boy, age 57, regrets trying to seduce 22 year-old Priest
• Tragic mixup - Area woman asks for Botox but receives buttocks
• DerfMagazine proven to cause more adult-bedwetting and high-pressure vomiting than other websites.
• Amazon.com ironically not catching on amongst people of the Amazon.
• Neighbors oppose Moeller High School plans for new sports stadium.
• Tsunami epicenter discovered inside Donald Trump's combover.
• If I were a woman back in the old cowboy days I think I would have been a pretty good hooker.
• Coworkers tired of guy who boasts about memorizing US airport codes
• Epcot's Iraq exhibit not yet safe for visitors
• Local man coping with humiliation from poor Evite response.
• Drunk residents of Brookstone apartments report Virgin Mary apparition in that electrical thing across the street.
• Where were you when the Brickyard closed?
• Gay newlyweds feel trapped in life sentence of unbearable and passionless boredom.
• Fireman uses Jaws of Life to trap Mother-in-law in car.
• Man removes own appendix to avoid losing place in airport security line.
• Inattentive husband develops sneaking suspicion he\'s divorced
• Three apartment units reported missing at the Octagon Apartment building.

• Semi-popular generic chain restaurant replaced by more popular generic chain restaurant
• Colony devastated in ant farm landslide.
• Man proud to be the guy who hands you a paper towel in the nightclub bathroom so you don't have to go to all the trouble of getting one from the dispenser yourself.
• New Pope's Things To Do List
• Non-salesman actually purchases Ford Taurus
• Subtitled movie thoughtlessly shown during illiteracy conference.
• Ohio River tests positive for water.
• Woman pretends to be offended by date’s over-willingness to divulge impressive income level
• Toenail fungus commercial soon to be cute children's cartoon.
• Tragic loss - Billy Graham shot by Cincinnati Police Officer
• Smiley Face admits long-term use of anti-depressant medications.

• DERF TRIVIA: What time did the clock stop at the corner of Edwards and Madison?
• Buddy Helgenberger's closet chosen as site for Norwood's first public library .
• Red Cross worker wishes tornado victims would quit whining
• Dyslexic man performs Heimlich Maneuver backwards.
• Local high school dropouts planning 10 year reunion of dropping out.
• Disgruntled fraternity guy publishes secret handshake on internet.
• A cable channel that only airs episodes of Walker Texas Ranger would probably be really popular
• Jiffy Lube expands car consultation to include comprehensive lifestyle counseling
• Introducing the award-winning Derf Happy Hour Doorman, Scooter Wellington.
• Family growing weary of Dad’s obsession with sarcasm
• To improve view, Cincinnati plans giant mirror on banks of Ohio River.
• Marchers in Secretly Gay Parade disappointed that everyone knows they're gay now.
• Tragic loss - Billy Graham shot by Cincinnati Police Officer
• Local family plans annual Christmas tree hunting trip to Drug Emporium.
• Alarming number of Cincinnatians find breathing easier during smog alerts.
• LOCAL TRAGEDY: Madeira High School Spaghetti Dinner cancelled due to devastating snow storm.
• STUDY RELEASED: 100% of U.S. New Year’s resolutions broken early New Year’s Day.
• Local Tragedy: Febreze tanker leaks in Mt. Lookout.
• Man longs to be with friend Jessie's girlfriend.
• Cincinnati public schools report math scores lower by like around 10% which is more or less about the same as around 10 out of every 100 or so.
• All-Corian® house soon to be unveiled in Suburbs.
• Man still never featured in DerfMagazine.com.
• Club Clau more profitable as crack house.
• Local man gets his freak on
• Kidnapper taken from his home by other kidnapper
• Family fed up with Dad's habit of recapping bathroom events
• Cincinnati Public School student showed up this week.
• To improve view, Cincinnati plans giant mirror on banks of Ohio River.
• Tragic mixup - Area woman asks for Botox but receives buttocks

• Ohio's oldest alter boy, age 57, regrets seducing 22 year-old Priest

• Local high school dropouts planning 10 year reunion of dropping out.

• Tragedy - Randy Beattie of Kiwanis International Misplaces I.D. Badge
• Possum booth draws crowds at N. Kentucky's Oktoberfest

• America’s Migrant workers embrace 'Leave Your Child at Home Day'.
• Jiffy Lube expands car consultation to include comprehensive lifestyle couseling

• Red Cross worker wishes tornado victims would quit whining

• Billions of Cicadas burrow eastward to avoid making debut on west side.

• DerfMagazine proven to cause more adult-bedwetting and high-pressure vomiting than other websites.

• Amazon.com ironically not catching on amongst people of the Amazon.

• A cable channel that only airs episodes of Walker Texas Ranger would probably be really popular

• Marchers in Secretly Gay Parade disappointed that everyone knows they're gay now.

• Local family plans annual Christmas tree hunting trip to Drug Emporium.

• US Air Force mistakenly drops two million Derf Happy Hour invitations over Iraq.

• Introducing the award-winning Derf Happy Hour Doorman, Scooter Wellington

• No Surprise - Report Says Drunks At Teller's Slightly More Polite Than Drunks At Arthur's.

• UDF employee hypnotized by constant hot dog rotation.