DerfMagazine proven to cause more adult-bedwetting and high-pressure vomiting than other websites.
DerfMagazine employees celebrated this week when the Food and Drug Administration released it's study regarding DerfMagazine's long-term devastating effect on the human urology and gastrointestinal systems. "We are off to a great start." said Derf CEO, Trevor Billingsworth. "From here, things can only get better...neurological disorders, macular degeneration, skin deterioration. I can't wait!" The FDA also stated Popeye's Chicken on the corner of Madison and Edwards is the only business known to pose a greater threat to human health.
- Northside S.W.A.T. standoff ends in fabulous S.W.A.T. dance off
- Fireman uses Jaws of Life to trap Mother-in-law in car.
- Women gaining weight to fit into trendy plus-size fashions
- Alarming number of Cincinnatians find breathing easier during smog alerts.
- Man proud to be the guy who hands you a paper towel in the nightclub bathroom so you don't have to go to all the trouble of getting one from the dispenser yourself.
- US Air Force mistakenly drops two million Derf Happy Hour invitations over Iraq.