Marchers in Secretly Gay Parade disappointed that everyone knows they're gay now.
NORTHSIDE - Organizers of the area's first Secretly Gay Parade recently failed in their promise to ensure no one would find out the thousands of parade marchers were gay. Gay marcher Michael Santos, who carried a large sign that said I'm secretly gay and proud, commented angrily to reporters, "I was promised complete anonymity but now everyone knows I'm gay." Disappointed marcher Peter Winchell who was unaware the event was televised said, "I have protected my gay secret for so long and now just because of one silly Secretly Gay Parade my cover is totally blown." Organizer Steven Rogers said, "We regret any pain this has caused all of the participants who were secretly gay. We certainly plan to offer all of these people assistance in making a successful transition to being secretly gay again."
- Derf writers agree only the most maladjusted, immature, and dysfunctional people will enjoy this article
- Local family plans annual Christmas tree hunting trip to Drug Emporium.
- Study indicates car accidents leading cause of dropped cell phone calls
- A cable channel that only airs episodes of Walker Texas Ranger would probably be really popular
- Ohio's oldest alter boy, age 57, regrets trying to seduce 22 year-old Priest
- Local man sets record low in charity date auction