Study indicates car accidents leading cause of dropped cell phone calls
WASHINGTON D.C. - Study results released by The Department of Transportation this week indicate car accidents often result in the additional misfortune of dropped cell phone calls.
Other regrettable aftermaths of car accidents include spilled coffee and smudged make-up. In one particularly unfortunate case a driver cleaning his handgun was killed when the weapon discharged due to a head on collision. In another incident, a collision caused a driver to wound herself in the face with a chop stick while eating chinese food.
A recent fateful collision destroyed an expensive clown make-up kit while the driver was applying make-up on the way to a birthday party appearance. Emergency responders said the make-up kit was reduced to an unrecognizable splatter of color but could have been salvaged if it had been buckled in. Clown industry officials say most clown make-up kits are not insured which makes it difficult for clowns to earn a living after a serious collision.
To prevent such unfortunate outcomes government officials urge drivers to avoid car accidents. Roger Stillman of the Ohio Insurance Institute commented, “The evidence strongly suggests incidents such as dropped cell phone calls are easily prevented when drivers strive to maintain a strong driving record.”
- Avian flu transmitted via Twitter
- Public copes with epidemic of news stories about heroin epidemic
- Local family plans annual Christmas tree hunting trip to Drug Emporium.
- Non-salesman actually purchases Ford Taurus
- No Surprise - Report Says Drunks At Teller's Slightly More Polite Than Drunks At Arthur's.
- UDF employee hypnotized by relentless hot dog rotation