Colony devastated in ant farm landslide.
A severe landslide was reported recently in an unsuspecting local ant farm. Although there were no deaths or serious injuries, the entire colony felt the devastating effects of the catastrophe which was caused by the careless shaking action of the ten year old boy who owns the ant farm. Many members of the colony were trapped under hundreds of grains of sand which had to be painstakingly removed by other colony members sometimes one grain at a time. Experts predict normalcy will not return to colony life until the larger ant pathways are rebuilt which could take 10-12 hours. Colony representatives say the colony's highly ordered social structure and the ability of many members to lift over 40 times their own weight will enable the colony to restore order in the ant farm rapidly. Senior members of the colony do not recall such a severe natural disaster since the great maple syrup flood of 2004 when the ant farm owner who was then 9 years old carelessly dripped an extra tablespoon of maple syrup into the ant farm during monthly feeding.
- 11% of Cincinnati teachers can read.
- OTR to develop new ‘Epic Beard District’
- No Surprise - Report Says Drunks At Teller's Slightly More Polite Than Drunks At Arthur's.
- Marchers in Secretly Gay Parade disappointed that everyone knows they're gay now.
- Ohio's oldest alter boy, age 57, regrets seducing 22 year-old Priest
- To improve view, Cincinnati plans giant mirror on banks of Ohio River.