New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Public copes with epidemic of news stories about heroin epidemic
- Jiffy Lube expands car consultation to include comprehensive life coaching
- Woman pretends to be offended by date’s over-willingness to divulge impressive income level
- Mt. Lookout resident unable to attend next Derf Happy Hour due to hair appointment
- Tragedy - Randy Beattie of Kiwanis International Misplaces I.D. Badge
- ABC concerned about depleted pool of celebrities for Dancing with the Stars