New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Local man coping with humiliation from poor response to Super Bowl party Evite invitation.
- If I were a woman back in the old cowboy days I think I would have been a pretty good hooker.
- All-Corian® house soon to be unveiled in Suburbs.
- Prom season disrupts teen drinking
- Drunk drivers thank Enquirer for posting Friday checkpoints
- DERF TRIVIA: What time did the clock stop at the corner of Edwards and Madison?