New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Soldier's reunion with spouse triggers post domestic stress syndrome
- A cable channel that only airs episodes of Walker Texas Ranger would probably be really popular
- Clermont County kicks off summer with “Leave Your Kid in a Hot Car Outside of Wal-Mart Fest”
- Touchdown Jesus cremation costs to be minimal
- Aftertaste of Blue Ash lasting longer than expected
- OTR residents scoff at unhip Hyde Park flasher