New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Semi-popular generic chain restaurant replaced by more popular generic chain restaurant
- Scientists successfully breed first wheel-dog
- Corpse found wrapped in KEEP AMERICA BEAUTIFUL banner
- Dyslexic man performs Heimlich Maneuver backwards.
- Couple plans breakup in January, 2009
- Cincinnati Zoo objects to neighboring 'Festival of Crack Pipes'