New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Man longs to be with friend Jessie's girlfriend.
- To improve view, Cincinnati plans giant mirror on banks of Ohio River.
- Local Tragedy: Febreze tanker leaks in Mt. Lookout.
- Cincinnati bed bugs refuse to be complacent despite #1 national ranking
- Scientists successfully breed first wheel-dog
- Cincinnati Public School student showed up this week.