New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Amazon.com ironically not catching on amongst people of the Amazon.
- Area sluts explore ways to continue wearing costumes after Halloween
- Colony devastated in ant farm landslide.
- Prediction of world's end updated to sometime in next 4000 years
- Local man coping with humiliation from poor response to Super Bowl party Evite invitation.
- Norwood celebrates 100 consecutive stabbing-free days