New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Ham radio hobbyist depressed to learn his lifelong radio friend in Norway really lives in Norwood.
- Woman pretends to be offended by date’s over-willingness to divulge impressive income level
- Drivers insulted by lower than actual speed readings.
- God Appeared at Crossroads Community Church hoping it was still a hardware store.
- A cable channel that only airs episodes of Walker Texas Ranger would probably be really popular
- Local man gets his freak on