New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Former Bengal Cheerleader Sarah Jones asks media to respect her privacy while she looks for reality TV deal
- 2-year-old left in hot car, now 41, still trapped in car, sweaty, angry
- Northern Kentucky removes shirt for rest of summer
- Area woman announces plans for all that junk, all that junk inside her trunk.
- Oakley man marries Golden Tee video game.
- EPA REPORT: Ohio River tests positive for water