EPA REPORT: Ohio River tests positive for water
CINCINNATI, OH - After a surge of industrial toxins originating in West Virgina travelled along the Ohio river, The Environmental Protection Agency released encouraging test results this week indicating the Ohio River is once again showing trace levels of water.
Sources say the dilution of the West Vriginia toxins was aided by plentiful pre-existing river pollutants including raw sewage, bacteria, pesticides, atrazine, benzene, mercury, phosphorous, and ethanol. EPA officials say the river environment should be able to adapt to the trace levels of water without disrupting the delicate balance of river contaminants.
Officials say the river should return to it's most healthy state during the summer when careless recreational boaters begin spilling beer into the river.
- Toenail fungus commercial soon to be cute children's cartoon.
- Local high school dropouts planning 10 year reunion of dropping out.
- REPORT: Taste of Cincinnati hillbilly corn consumption scars area children
- Tragic mixup - Area woman asks for Botox but receives buttocks
- Man proud to be the guy who hands you a paper towel in the nightclub bathroom so you don't have to go to all the trouble of getting one from the dispenser yourself.
- Family fed up with Dad's habit of recapping bathroom events