Club Clau more profitable as crack house.
Cincinnati, OH - Recently closed downtown night spot Club Clau has finally become profitable as local crack dealers transform the once over-hyped and struggling business into a thriving crack enterprise. Now rated amongst the top 10 crack houses in the country by Conde Nast Magazine, local crack addicts are delighted with the notoriety. The former club's VIP area goes largely unused just as it did in the original Club Clau. There is usually not a wait line to get into the crack house which is a significant difference from Club Clau's long wait line which was usually created artificially to make the club appear more popular.
- Red Cross worker wishes tornado victims would quit whining
- DerfMagazine proven to cause more adult-bedwetting and high-pressure vomiting than other websites.
- Tragedy - Randy Beattie of Kiwanis International Misplaces I.D. Badge
- No Surprise - Report Says Drunks At Teller's Slightly More Polite Than Drunks At Arthur's.
- Disgruntled fraternity guy publishes secret handshake on internet.
- Detroit looters inconvenienced by power outage.