Drunk residents of Brookstone apartments report Virgin Mary apparition in that electrical thing across the street.

Hyde Park-Several drunk Brookstone residents reported last Friday the miraculous
appearance of the Virgin Mary in the electrical thing located directly across the street from the popular apartment complex. Leading the investigation of the supposed miracle, Cincinnati Police Sergeant William Davies stated he remains cynical about the authenticity of the claim due recent reports of increased binge drinking at the Brookstone complex. "We think it is suspicious that these apparitions are consistently reported between midnight and 2am every weekend."