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Gay couples prepare for marital equality: Life sentence of dispassionate boredom

CINCINNATI - Sociologists expect soon-to-be gay newlyweds to begin mirroring marital dissatisfaction similar to that expressed by the majority of straight couples.  Experts project most gay newlweds will begin expressing overwhelming feelings of marital regret.

Government studies focused on exisiting gay marriages surprisingly indicate most gays feel their marriage is a torturous state of painful repetition. This close parallel with the attitudes of most straight couples has led many gays to question why they fought so aggressively to legalize gay marriage.

"We failed to learn from straight couples." Said gay newlywed Adam Haas.  Unhappy in his recent marriage to David May, Haas commented, "We've tried everything including marriage counseling but we are still unhappy just like all of our married straight friends. We feel, at this point, actively pursuing the legalization of gay divorce is our best option."