Gay newlyweds feel trapped in life sentence of unbearable and passionless boredom.

CINCINNATI - Mirroring marital dissatisfaction similar to that expressed by most straight couples, gay newlyweds often express overwhelming feelings of marital regret.

Government studies focused on gay marriages surprisingly indicate most gays feel their marriage is a torturous state of painful repetition. This close parallel with the attitudes of most straight couples has led many gays to question why they fought so aggressively to legalize gay marriage.

"We failed to learn from straight couples." Said gay newlywed Adam Haas.  Unhappy in his recent marriage to David May, Haas commented, "We've tried everything including marriage counseling but we are still unhappy just like all of our married straight friends. We feel, at this point, actively pursuing the legalization of gay divorce is our best option."