Man postpones alcohol rehab until end of Party in the Park season.
CINCINNATI - Taking the first difficult step in the battle against alcohol addiction, Mt. Adams resident Paul Constantine has admitted he is an alcoholic and has made plans to check into a local alcohol rehabilitation clinic. But against the wishes of his family and friends he has carefully scheduled his thirty-day stay to begin in late Fall after the conclusion of this year's Party in the Park season.
As a regular attendee of Cincinnati's hugely popular monthly Derf Happy Hour parties, Constantine has carefully scheduled his rehab stay in between consecutive Derf parties in order to avoid missing an event. During a recent family intervention in which Constantine's angry family questioned his commitment to recovery, he commented, "Thanks to all of you but this is a bad time because I 'm running late for a bachelor party. But let me assure you I am 100% committed to solving my little alcohol problem without resorting to any extreme life interruptions such as missing a Derf party." Derf fans who attend the next Derf Happy Hour are encouraged to meet Paul Constantine and offer words of support.
- Drunk residents of Brookstone apartments report Virgin Mary apparition in that electrical thing across the street.
- The beer line at this year's Spring Fling party stretched all the way to Ault Park
- Man addicted to watching A&E's Intervention program
- Prom season disrupts teen drinking
- EDITORIAL: When a friend asks me to watch their drink in the bar I really watch it.
- Irish Americans argue DUI laws culturally biased
- Scientists successfully breed first wheel-dog
- Cincinnati Enquirer devotes new section to heroin news
- Colony devastated in ant farm landslide.
- DERF TRIVIA: What time did the clock stop at the corner of Edwards and Madison?
- Northern Kentucky removes shirt for rest of summer
- A cable channel that only airs episodes of Walker Texas Ranger would probably be really popular