DerfMagazine proven to cause more adult-bedwetting and high-pressure vomiting than other websites.
DerfMagazine employees celebrated this week when the Food and Drug Administration released it's study regarding DerfMagazine's long-term devastating effect on the human urology and gastrointestinal systems. "We are off to a great start." said Derf CEO, Trevor Billingsworth. "From here, things can only get better...neurological disorders, macular degeneration, skin deterioration. I can't wait!" The FDA also stated Popeye's Chicken on the corner of Madison and Edwards is the only business known to pose a greater threat to human health.
- Amazon.com ironically not catching on amongst people of the Amazon.
- Epcot's Iraq exhibit not yet safe for visitors
- Alarming number of Cincinnatians find breathing easier during smog alerts.
- Tragic mixup - Area woman asks for Botox but receives buttocks
- Local man gives up O'Douls for lent
- Billions of Cicadas burrow eastward to avoid making debut on west side.