DerfMagazine proven to cause more adult-bedwetting and high-pressure vomiting than other websites.
DerfMagazine employees celebrated this week when the Food and Drug Administration released it's study regarding DerfMagazine's long-term devastating effect on the human urology and gastrointestinal systems. "We are off to a great start." said Derf CEO, Trevor Billingsworth. "From here, things can only get better...neurological disorders, macular degeneration, skin deterioration. I can't wait!" The FDA also stated Popeye's Chicken on the corner of Madison and Edwards is the only business known to pose a greater threat to human health.
- Local high school dropouts planning 10 year reunion of dropping out.
- Few equatorial nations offer relief funds for Cincinnati heat emergency
- To improve view, Cincinnati plans giant mirror on banks of Ohio River.
- Semi-popular generic chain restaurant replaced by more popular generic chain restaurant
- America slow to embrace tear gas bucket challenge to benefit Ferguson Missouri
- Local man coping with humiliation from poor response to Super Bowl party Evite invitation.