DerfMagazine proven to cause more adult-bedwetting and high-pressure vomiting than other websites.
DerfMagazine employees celebrated this week when the Food and Drug Administration released it's study regarding DerfMagazine's long-term devastating effect on the human urology and gastrointestinal systems. "We are off to a great start." said Derf CEO, Trevor Billingsworth. "From here, things can only get better...neurological disorders, macular degeneration, skin deterioration. I can't wait!" The FDA also stated Popeye's Chicken on the corner of Madison and Edwards is the only business known to pose a greater threat to human health.
- Local Tragedy: Febreze tanker leaks in Mt. Lookout.
- US Air Force mistakenly drops two million Derf Happy Hour invitations over Iraq.
- Few equatorial nations offer relief funds for Cincinnati heat emergency
- Cincinnati Public School student showed up this week.
- Tragic mixup - Area woman asks for Botox but receives buttocks
- Study indicates car accidents leading cause of dropped cell phone calls