Mallory Prefers Mitchell’s Over Phyllis
CINCINNATI - For his facials, Swedish massages, mani/pedis, and bikini waxes, aroma therapy, and capuccino with mocha drizzle, Mayor Mark Mallory has declared a winner in the most fabulous beauty salon in the tri-state: It’s Mitchells over Phyllis. DERF went on location to ask some of the staff about Mallory’s regular visits. Gregory, a strapping young Mitchell’s masseur, reported that the mayor specifically requests his services once, sometimes twice every week. And contrary to the rumors about African Americans being stingy with the tips, Gregory insists that our fair mayor is “more than generous” with his post-massage gratuity. So next time you're at Mitchell's and you detect a delicate balsamic floral fragrance with subtle musky undertones the Mayor may be in the room next door!
- Pentagon honors lone General not engaged in extramarital affair
- Cincinnati seeks transportation funds for OTR piggyback rides
- Edward Snowden’s hacks help Vladimir Putin become unstoppable in online gaming
- Greeks continue protest by not breaking dishes
- Local murderers celebrate record year
- Presidential mini-golf game ruins children’s birthday party