Mallory Prefers Mitchell’s Over Phyllis
CINCINNATI - For his facials, Swedish massages, mani/pedis, and bikini waxes, aroma therapy, and capuccino with mocha drizzle, Mayor Mark Mallory has declared a winner in the most fabulous beauty salon in the tri-state: It’s Mitchells over Phyllis. DERF went on location to ask some of the staff about Mallory’s regular visits. Gregory, a strapping young Mitchell’s masseur, reported that the mayor specifically requests his services once, sometimes twice every week. And contrary to the rumors about African Americans being stingy with the tips, Gregory insists that our fair mayor is “more than generous” with his post-massage gratuity. So next time you're at Mitchell's and you detect a delicate balsamic floral fragrance with subtle musky undertones the Mayor may be in the room next door!
- Boehner unable to hide laughter when fake crying about Congressman Weiner
- Mayor Mallory in bitter battle to become Foursquare Mayor of City Hall
- Democrats select candidate from the future to defeat Schwarzenegger in Governor's race.
- New Cincinnati parking Plan: Jim Tarbell personally watches your car for $5 an hour
- Gadhafi hoped to complete Twilight saga uninterrupted by regime collapse
- Shadow Hare Allegiance of Super Heroes denies Simon Leis membership application