Mallory Prefers Mitchell’s Over Phyllis
CINCINNATI - For his facials, Swedish massages, mani/pedis, and bikini waxes, aroma therapy, and capuccino with mocha drizzle, Mayor Mark Mallory has declared a winner in the most fabulous beauty salon in the tri-state: It’s Mitchells over Phyllis. DERF went on location to ask some of the staff about Mallory’s regular visits. Gregory, a strapping young Mitchell’s masseur, reported that the mayor specifically requests his services once, sometimes twice every week. And contrary to the rumors about African Americans being stingy with the tips, Gregory insists that our fair mayor is “more than generous” with his post-massage gratuity. So next time you're at Mitchell's and you detect a delicate balsamic floral fragrance with subtle musky undertones the Mayor may be in the room next door!
- Governor Taft petitions court to suppress embarrassing golf scores.
- Shadow Hare Allegiance of Super Heroes denies Simon Leis membership application
- BP officials encourage oil-soaked birds to smile once in a while
- Israel and Palestine to learn from successful U.S. / Canada ceasefire
- Police horses learning to ride police Segways
- Bin Laden: “What a pleasant surprise that most of my 72 virgins look exactly like Michelle Obama.”