Mallory Prefers Mitchell’s Over Phyllis
CINCINNATI - For his facials, Swedish massages, mani/pedis, and bikini waxes, aroma therapy, and capuccino with mocha drizzle, Mayor Mark Mallory has declared a winner in the most fabulous beauty salon in the tri-state: It’s Mitchells over Phyllis. DERF went on location to ask some of the staff about Mallory’s regular visits. Gregory, a strapping young Mitchell’s masseur, reported that the mayor specifically requests his services once, sometimes twice every week. And contrary to the rumors about African Americans being stingy with the tips, Gregory insists that our fair mayor is “more than generous” with his post-massage gratuity. So next time you're at Mitchell's and you detect a delicate balsamic floral fragrance with subtle musky undertones the Mayor may be in the room next door!
- Cheney’s old heart buried in secret, secure location
- Occupy Walton KY turnout lower than expected
- Bitter over lack of endorsement bonanza, Olympic Curling champion switches to bowling.
- Giant Saddam Hussein statue erected at Sean Penn's house.
- Sarah Palin entertains family with mean-spirited Tina Fey impersonation
- 295 million Americans feel they were unfairly targeted by IRS