Democrats select candidate from the future to defeat Schwarzenegger in Governor's race.
California Democratic Party leaders recently reached far into the future and nominated a candidate they consider to be the most advanced democratic prototype ever created. The chosen candidate reportedly has developed a superior mastery of many key democratic characteristics such as the ability to maintain a fluid image by molding itself into an infinite number of popular political forms. This adaptive style and unlimited capacity to avoid a firm stance on any issue is expected to provide a significant advantage in the Governor's race. Schwarzenegger’s Campaign Manager, Sara Conner, acknowledges her candidate appears to be a more primitive political prototype and may have difficulty competing with little more in his arsenal than a few trademark catch phrases predictably presented during climactic movie moments.
- North Korea awards national defense contract to Howell Illinois Ace Hardware
- Local soldier only pretending to miss home.
- Congress plans work on debt basement, debt porch, and screened-in debt patio
- City offers Mayor Mallory streetcar tokens in lieu of car allowance
- Queen Elizabeth removes all nude selfies from iCloud
- Greeks continue protest by not breaking dishes