Victory in Iraq - Bush officials reports finding stockpiles of illegally removed Iraqi mattress tags.
Baghdad - Confiscating what is possibly the last remnants of Saddam's evil regime, the Fourth Marines Infantry Division has seized control of several Iraqi warehouses containing thousands of mattress tags illegally removed by the former regime. “This is a victory for all American’s in the war against terrorism.”, Commented Vice President Dick Cheney, "The evil regime has perpetrated this cruelty on the Iraqi people for years and there is no doubt this type of activity would have eventually come to US soil.
- Congress plans work on debt basement, debt porch, and screened-in debt patio
- Bush family gardener appointed Secretary of Agriculture.
- Somali pirates escape disguised as Long John Silvers workers
- Joe Biden suspected of sending nude texts of self to Michelle Bachmann
- Governor Taft petitions court to suppress embarrassing golf scores.
- U.S. Unemployment office lays off 6,000 workers