Bengals season ticket holders seek government bailout
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Lobbyists representing disappointed Bengals season ticket holders approached Congress this week seeking a bailout package. The proposed plan is intended to provide relief to the sector of the economy comprised of people who were misled into believing they were purchasing tickets to legitimate NFL events.
Lobbyist Gerald Williams said, "These people are hurting. They paid a lot of money for tickets and seat licenses. Many of them also paid for luxury boxes. The government has a responsibility to bail out this naive and desperate group of consumers."
Other consumer groups seeking similar bailout packages include Detroit Lions season ticket holders, investors in the Purple People Bridge, people who saw the movie Nights in Rodanthe starring Richard Gere, and people who made financial contributions to John McCain's presidential campaign.
Best way to spend the next 11 seconds? Grab an account on the Derf Message Boards. Be heard on any topic....sports, music, dating, politics, nightlife, giving back, etc.
- Michael Phelps lining up summer life guarding gigs
- Knocked down OSU cheerleader receives get well bouquet from Ray Rice
- Aging Greg Oden drafted, announces retirement
- Andy Dalton achieves mid-season mediocre form in first day of camp
- Cleveland plans parade for victorious Dallas Mavericks
- Donald Trump campaign vetting Conor McGregor for running mate