Chicago Bears consider shutting down franchise after humiliating loss
CHIGAGO - After suffering a humiliating 45-10 loss to the Cincinnati Bengals, officials within the storied Bears franchise are considering closing up shop after an almost 80 year presence in the NFL. Members of the Bears front office would only say, “Obviously, there isn’t much reason to carry on. You do the math.”
Fans in Chicago were surprisingly nonchalant about the news. “Sounds like the front office is finally making a smart move,” said longtime Bears fan Sandra Epps. “Everything has its time and place, and the Bears franchise has obviously run its course. I think this is what Papa Bear Halas would have wanted.”
Other fans were even more supportive of the Bears potential shut down. “I would like to thank the Cincinnati Bengals for making this day possible. That loss really opened our eyes.” explained Chicagoan Ken Dombrowski. “It was by far the most embarrassing moment in the history of the franchise. OK, maybe not as bad as the Super Bowl Shuffle video, but pretty bad. After the Bears call it quits, I hope they rename Soldier Field, ‘The Ochocinco Expo Center’”.
Bengals owner Mike Brown commented on the impending franchise closure by commenting, “It really is a shame, perhaps I should at least offer them the opportunity to turn the franchise into the Cincinnati Bengals practice squad. But I saw this coming a long time ago. Some folks just don’t know how to run an NFL team.”
- Tiger Woods celebrates win with flurry of sexting
- Griffey severs left hand opening Spaghetti-Oís
- Kobe Bryant expected to go high in the Convict Basketball League draft.
- Bob Costas sets example for faking interest in Winter Olympics
- Talk radio callers criticize decisions of Dusty Bakerís medical team
- Ben Roethlisberger charged with 30,000 counts of sexual assault during Monday Night Football power outage