Michael Phelps lining up summer life guarding gigs
BALTIMORE, MD - Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps has spent the last several weeks seeking employment as a life guard at local public pools. After dropping off his resume and speaking to pool supervisors, Phelps remains optimistic that he will be hired for at least one of the jobs.
“I’m not sure what my plans are for the next Olympic games and they’re a few years off anyway,” said Michael. “I figured life guarding would be a good way to meet girls, work on my tan, and earn a couple of bucks.”
Baltimore County Director of Recreation Richard McNulty was pleased to receive Phelp’s application, but would not confirm that he will be hired. “There will be no determination until phase two of the application process,” explained McNulty. “He’s going to have to pass the aptitude test by completing three laps in the adult pool just like everyone else.”
“I’m pretty confident about passing most of the requirements,” said Phelps. “Although, I still have to get my CPR certificate, and I’m also kind of hoping they don’t do any kind of drug testing.”
- Tyrion Lannister to replace shorter Johnny Manziel as Browns QB
- Record 1.8% of Opening Day crowd watched game
- FIFA headquarters deletes thousands of emails from Hillary Clinton
- Andy Daltonís cast, Johnny Manzielís wig highly sought after by collectors
- George Foreman to appear in first ever pay-per-view infomercial.
- Bengals leave stadium in fourth quarter to avoid traffic