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Outraged NASCAR Fans Discover Jeff Gordon Only Pretending to Be a Hillbilly
In an unusual interview with Racing Weekly, Harvard graduate Jeff Gordon with a hillbilly accent for over two minutes. The confused reporter pressed the issue and Gordon finally dropped a bombshell saying, "Ok, I’m not really a hillbilly. I was born and raised in Maryland. You can’t get any less hillbilly than that." After graduating from business school, Gordon decided to pursue a career in NASCAR and knew he could realize more lucrative returns by mimicking his hillbilly NASCAR fan base. "I did whatever it took from carrying Kodiak chew in my pocket to watching fishing shows on TV." Even though most of his fans are mildly retarded, Gordon stated he still regrets misleading them.
Kidnapper Ariel Castro charged with holding Cleveland Browns offense captive since 2003
Kentucky Derby festival to kick off with ceremonial first Infield Urination
Shin-Soo Choo underwhelmed by reception from Cincinnati\'s Little Korea neighborhood
Xavier seeks selection in University of Phoenix online basketball tourney
Daytona 500 to feature first car sponsored by meth lab
- Time for Reds, Coutlangus to Get Freaky on Pujols
- Nick Lachey named MVP in Bengals win over San Diego
- After the NFL: Men Find New, Creative Ways to Ignore Wives
- Rash of burglaries during La Salle-Elder football game - homes vulnerable across entire west side.
- Chicago Bears consider shutting down franchise after humiliating loss
- Carson Palmer proud of role in leading Bengals to playoffs





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