Outraged NASCAR Fans Discover Jeff Gordon Only Pretending to Be a Hillbilly
In an unusual interview with Racing Weekly, Harvard graduate Jeff Gordon with a hillbilly accent for over two minutes. The confused reporter pressed the issue and Gordon finally dropped a bombshell saying, "Ok, Iím not really a hillbilly. I was born and raised in Maryland. You canít get any less hillbilly than that." After graduating from business school, Gordon decided to pursue a career in NASCAR and knew he could realize more lucrative returns by mimicking his hillbilly NASCAR fan base. "I did whatever it took from carrying Kodiak chew in my pocket to watching fishing shows on TV." Even though most of his fans are mildly retarded, Gordon stated he still regrets misleading them.
- Chad Johnson no longer boasts about scoring four touchdowns on Madden 2013
- Bengals travel back in time during fourth quarter of Raiders game
- Ben Roethlisberger and brother compete in Sexual Assault Bowl
- Marvin Lewis takes Bengals out for ice cream after win
- Aging Greg Oden drafted, announces retirement
- Tabloid discovers woman who did not have affair with Tiger Woods